2009 in review....

Well, this has been a roller coaster year. It's really easy to remember the stuff that just happened, but harder yet to forget the stuff that happened a while ago. So, here I go. This year, Katie turned 6 in February. She started first grade in September and is still going strong. We made it through another year without my grandfather only to relive the pain of death when my great Aunt Lottie died. Another blow to the family tree. We started the year off with Gillian having an Ostomy and ended it with her having a JPouch, not the mention the 2 surgeries that she went through to get there. She went to Youth Rally in Colorodo in July. The first time I have really been away from her that distance! It was a learning experience for both of us. While she was away, we took Katie to Lancaster PA and did some little kiddy things that Gillian wouldn't be interested in. It was a HUGE wakeup call for me that I have precious time left with my oldest daughter as an adolescent and not an adult. Gillian turned 17 in August and got her license this year. She is driving. In the fall, our good friend Pam died tragically, leaving a gaping hole in our lives. But we gained a great friend in return. Thank you Jackie for coming into our lives. Soon after Pam's death, Gillian and I went to Smith College in MA for an interview. While we were gone, Katie and Cheryl flew to NJ to see Miley Cirus in concert. Whew....is the year over yet? Nope, on Thanksgiving, right before dinner was served, I received a text message from my good friend Noa, who lives in Israel that our beloved friend Susan E, died that morning. She was at the top of the transplant list but just couldn't hold out. Shock waves ran through my Queer Mom's list as we realized that we've yet lost another sister. After the shock of losing someone so significant, I am happy to say that my friend (and ex) Val and her husband gave birth to a beautiful baby girl in December. Sophia enters a world full of wonder and grace. Welcome Sophia Lynn! I still love buying beautiful clothes for Katie (and would for Gillian too if she'd let me) and I am still quilting and creating. It's hard for me to stand and cut out squares and then sit and quilt them so it's very slow going. I am doing a project with Katie's class where they were learning geometry through quilt shapes. So, I cut out muslin squares, sent them to school and received them back, all colored and cute. I need to send in some fabric samples to school for them to vote on borders and backing and then I will put it together. My goal this year is to get that done, finish Katie's, Gillian's, and the Halloween/fall quilt that I made. I have some patterns to make Katie some dresses and skirts too, so we shall see what comes out of all that!

The year seperates out here for me in religion. I made peace at church with my minister over her inability to ordain me as an elder. I was ordained, but not by her. Our Minister of Music left her position, but has been back with her husband during certain times. Soon after that, the Director of Children's Ministry resigned and with that another decision fork. Do I leave and find another church or stay? One Sunday of looking around the Sanctuary left me without any doubt that it would be impossible to leave the many good friends that I have made. I joined a newly formed group this year, Sacred Circle, and it has been life transforming for me. My sisters in Christ have been pushing me (gently) to places that I have been really afraid to go. And it's so liberating. I am still planning to go to Seminary or at least take religion courses at SU, but I need to get Gillian settled first.

And my relationship Cheryl. There were many times that I thought I would be on here blogging that we were done, over, caput. But we've made it through another hard time and are in such a good place. My getting Social Security has taken so much pressure off our relationship that we have been able to get past some of our anger about money and really work on area's that strengthen our relationships. Does that mean that I think everything will be hunky dory, nope, but it feels better than it ever has.

So, 2009 didn't suck or stink for me this year. There were sucky times that stunk, but when you look at it more good than bad happened this year. Actually, life happened this year.

Here's to 2010!

Wendy

Dreaming

Oh man, I have been watching the Travel Channel all day and they are talking about cruising! The one I am watching now is exclusive to the wealthy, where they have their own apartment's on the ship and just travel from port to port. We watched the Disney Cruise one but I could feel Katie's blood pressure go up just seeing the characters on the TV. I really wish I could understand her fear of dressed up people! I really want to take her to Disney World, like we took Gillian when she was 9! We did the 4 day land 3 day sea package and it was awesome. I guess I will have to settle for my week in FL. That's if I can get Cheryl to call her sister to make sure we can come down that week. It will be nice to be somewhere warm. Last night I told Cheryl that I couldn't conceivably stay here in the NE much longer. The cold is too cold and the snow too much. I need more moderate temperatures. I could totally see living on Key West. Yes, I know I said Moderate...but one can dream!

OK, I have to turn this channel off. I really want to go on a cruise. Or at least somewhere warm!

Wendy

Good friends....

Are the best. Since Blogger just ate my last post....we had a great time with Kathleen and family tonight. I miss listening to her preach, but am so glad that we have remained friends. Our kids played nicely together and we had some great food and conversation. It reminds me that we don't do this often enough with our other friends.

On a sad note, we received word today that our good friends Vince and Jack and their daughter Mona lost their Mother/MIL/grandmother yesterday. Please keep them in your prayers. We will be attendng calling hours tomorrow night.

Now, I am so tired. I am off to get into bed and read and go to sleep!

Wendy

Memories....

I have been reading back through the old blogs that I have written and gee, what a sad sack I have been! Depression sure is the theme. I am hoping to change that this year. Gillian will be heading off to college in August, so there will probably be a lot of posts from me about college stuff. She applied to 7 different schools, so I imagine after the new year, we will start getting acceptence letters. Then Cheryl and I will be sitting down and trying to figure out with her what school she can afford. We are hoping that with her grades and learning disabilities that she gets some scholarships. But with everything where there is a will, there is a way.

The best news, and I don't think I updated anyone is that I finally got SSD! WHOOO HOOOO! The judge was a dick and only said for 2 years, but I finally got it. And the retro money was just enough to pay off enough of our bills that we can finally get the bill collectors to stop calling. We still have a lot to pay off, we weren't able to get a van, but hey, we have enough each month now to pay the bills, get groceries and not have to hold our breath that something major was going to happen. Of course, I wanted to take the money and go on a nice trip. But thankfully Cheryl convinced me it was better to pay the bills! LOL! So, we are living life instead of holding our breath. We can actually give back for once, after all the getting we received. The other day, I was in McDonalds and they were doing a fun raiser for a local Ronald McDonald's house. They asked someone to step up and donate $100 and I did. It felt soooo good. Now, when someone else is in need, I can give to them. Let me tell you, giving never felt so good. Now I can understand why folks gave to us when we were so desperate! It feels good to help. And the Regent that someone bought us a couple of years ago was gifted to someone who needed a safe car seat.

So, there you have it! Life is getting better and better. I am still considering Seminary, but for now am looking into auditing courses at SU in Religion to see if I can do it. But God is calling me to do His work. And where He calls....I go!

Happy 2009! And here is to a great 2010!

Wendy

Cook or be cooked....

Kate got this game for the Wii and it's HARD. We can't even fry the damn eggs or get the bacon the right temp. Heck, we can't even turn the friggen stove off and on. This is going to be a great game for Katie because she'll be able to figure it out eventually and then be off to cooking school. She also got Cooking Mama for her DSi and Diner Dash which she loves. An Easy Bake Oven....do we see a theme here? LOL! Gillian got her new computer and SIMS 3 which keeps her glued to the screen for a long time. At least until I offer to duel with her with the Nerf Wii! LOL

We had the greatest time last night playing Wii Resort. (I feel like I am becoming a commercial for electronics here) They have a sword game and I beat the tar out of the other jouster....hey, did I already post this yesterday? I feel like I am repeating myself. Must be because I haven't done anything yet today except take Katie to her friends house. But, let the games begin! Wii Nerf here I come...if I can get Gillian away from SIMS 3. I guess I will just have to try and finish The Scarpetta Factor by Patricia Cornwall. Don't buy it. It's not that good. I am trying like heck to slog through it.

Also, if you are reading me....let me know! Let me know what you want to know more about....the kids? Sewing and quilting? Electronics? Books? I aim to please!
Wendy

Wicked good!

Guess who got 6th row seats to Wicked for Christmas???? I did! I did! I am so excited to go and see the show. Ever since I read the book, I have wanted to go.

We celebrated Christmas with Grandma yesterday and the whole family got Wii Resort. Yahhoooo! It's so, so much fun! The sword fighting game is great for getting your aggression out and I might not be able to play basketball in real life, but I can sink those 3 pointers on Wii! Katie got Cook or Be Coooked for the Wii, but we haven't tried that yet.

And what holiday wouldn't be complete without a visit to the ER. We went to see my Grandmother yesterday and she couldn't even move without being in agony. So, we had to call 911 to get her into an ambulance and then to the hospital where they put her out in the hallway until 6:30 this morning! They finally admitted her after I got into a huge fight with my sister and the doctor. Family drama! My grandmother is going to be fine, but will be in pain for a while. I know the pain as I feel it in my own back and leg every single day.

The kids are off this week, but I am still going to try and post every day unless something drastic happens and we have to take someone to the hospital! LOL! Until then my good friends, I will talk with you all tomorrow...that is if there is anyone reading....
Wendy

Early New Years Decision!

I am going to try and update this blog daily if I have any readers left! I went back and looked at all the memories that I have created. I started this blog when Katie was 3 and have the best memories.

We had the best Christmas ever! Although I have to admit that I was really, really tired. I went to both Christmas eve services and barely made it through the 11:00 one. I really thought that the singing was going to uplift me and make me serene, but all I really wanted to do was lay down and go to sleep. I did go back to bed after the presents were opened. Gillian got a computer and Katie got her Nintendo DSi and both were very happy with their gifts. I got some great things from Femine Creations and some great gift cards. Cheryl also gave me a CD player that plays diretly from my IPhone. Oh, and just so you know....Katie got a wheelchair, casts and bandages for her American Girl doll. I wonder what is in store for the poor doll?

I think it's going to be a long week. The kids have nothing planned and I usually spend my days laying around and laying low. I will have to find some things for them to do.

So, this is the beginning. Can't promise that everyday will be interesting....but there will be something every day!

Oh dear

I am not going to promise anymore that I am going to keep this blog up to date. You get what you get! LOL! Those of you who read me often, know that this is a hard time of year for me. The loss of my son Jared in September 1999 and the anniversary of my father's death in October. Add to that, on October 19th a friend of our family and an esteemed member of our school district died tragically. She leaves behind a life partner, 2 sons and 2 grandsons. I am trying to be here for her partner. I just can't imagine losing Cheryl. Scares me to death. So, I don't want to get all maudlin here. Just want to check in and let you all know that we are keeping on. More later when I can write.

What a weekend!

I started the weekend by joining 6 good friends from church at VanderKamp up in Cleveland NY for our Sacred Circle (from church)and had a wonderful spiritual retreat. For the sake of privacy, I am not going to go into detail what we did, but it was awesome. We did "walk" in the woods and had lots of good food. We laughed a lot (as in BELLY laughing) and told wonderful stories. To say that I came away refreshed and rejuvinated in my soul is an understatement. But lurking beneath that was the knowledge that our beloved Minister of Music's last Sunday would be the very next day.

So, as all things must do...time marches on and today came. I wanted it to last forever. Her last time at rehersal, her last time on the organ, etc. As we made our way up to the balcony, I savored every last minute. There were tears. Lots of them. Folks that had left the church came back to sing and fellowship. There were lots of tears, smiles, hugs, etc.

I have so much more to write, but I can't. It will have to wait for another day. There is a husband to write about who was significant in my life too.

Goodbye dear friends. I hope we meet again someday.

I love you both, my sister and brother in Christ.

Wendy

Clothing addiction

Yes, I have one! I went to the Boden warehouse sale and got about $900 worth of clothes (for next year) for $160! Including in this was a great long wool duffle coat that resales for $88. I was stoked. The rest of the stuff that I got was for next summer and fall.

I placed my Mini Boden order and bought mostly pants and was really disappointed when they came. The only pants that really fit well are the Lined Cord Baggies and Heart Knee Patch pants. The rest of them got sent back. I will be showing you all a fashion show at some point when I the moon aligns and Katie is willing. LOL! Our good friend Kate from Monkeysbug tee's (google her seriously...she makes the most adorable stuff) and she made Katie a First Grade Rocks tee with jeans that have awesome appliques on them to match. She threw in a cute headband to boot. I can't wait fo the first day of school. I also had Francoise Lama Solet make us a couple of cute outfits. One if for summer and one is for winter. We just got the summer one and the winter one is on it's way. And I am getting ready to put in my order for www.everythingbuttheprincess.com She has the most incredible stuff. I have to wait for my refund from my Boden duds before I can put in my other order. Gap also has some very cute fall stuff. They had some cute tunic tops with opposite capri's that look a lot like Hanna Andersson's Play All Day Sets. They are really thin compared to Hanna's but they are cute. I still have some cute Hanna's from last year that will fit.

Did I mention that Katie doesn't really need anything? Gillian either, but they both get a ton every year. Anyway, I will put pictures up as they come. I still have pictures from Dutch Wonderland and Lancaster PA. They are on the computer, I just need to get them up!

What to do?

I think I mentioned a year or so ago that there was stuff going on in our church that pretty much centered around me, or to be specific, my being gay. So, I need to tell the story because I don't want it to get lost and truth be told, it's still affecting me today.

About 1.5 years ago, a position opened up on the board for Staff Support Chair. This pretty much entailed doing what I had done most of my life. Let me just interject here that we had just hired a new pastor. I think you will understand why this is significant down the road. Anyway, if I were to take on this new position in the church, you have to be an ordained elder. This would be the first problem. I brought my concerns to the moderator who assurred me that it wouldn't be an issue in the church and I really think he believed that, since our mission statement specifically states that our church doesn't discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.

So, guess what? It turns out that it was a big issue. Our church is a combined combination of a presbytarian and baptist congregation. And there are some little words(well actually they are regular print, but should be in bold) in the Presbytarian Book or Order that says Ordained Elders have to follow certain rules, like chastity in singleness and fidelity in marriage. You would think this wouldn't be a problem since I have never cheated on Cheryl, but you would be wrong. Because they define marriage as between a man and a woman. Oh yes, they do. But you aren't suprised are you?

Lots of folks at our church thought, well, we are progressive, so what's the big deal? The big deal was that our new pastor wasn't willing to put her own ordination on the line and ordain me. So began a loooong process of convening a task force to look at the issue, letters being written (and some of those were really, really hard to hear, I have to tell you)

All this time folks were checking in on me and making sure that I was OK with everything going on and I just said yes, because who really wants to hear no. Many dear friends have left the church over this issue and it pains me to my core. Many good friends have stayed.

So, why did I stay? I really don't know how to answer this question. Part of me feels as though I had to stay to show everyone that I was OK, that "I" wasn't going to drag a church through the grindstone and then desert them. But that is what I feel like doing. I still harbor a lot of anger towards the pastor, who could have stood up for me and for GLBT folks. I am still filled with grief over folks who have left and wish everyday that I had the guts to stand up and say, "You know, I am done with this, I am sorry for everything that has happened, but I just can't stay." I feel as though by my staying I am not standing up for what happend to me.

I am sure as you are reading this (if I have readers left) that you can hear the pain in my words. That you can tell that I am conflicted and that I really don't know what to do. I feel by staying that I am saying, "What you did to me was OK" and you know what? It wasn't.

It's so damn complicated. I think this issue is keeping me from moving forward in my relationship with God. Maybe I just am not the church going type? Maybe I need to find another church? I really don't know. I just know that I always attend church with a smile on my face and tears in my heart......

A little story to tell

In all of my sadness of losing my Aunt Lottie, there is a story to tell. Most people don't even know their great aunts, let alone have the privilege to not only know them, but love them.

The story starts when I was a young girl. My grandfather who died about a year and a half ago and 3 of his brothers and their wives always vacationed up in Canada about an hour and a half northwest of Kingston. This is seriously God's country here and my mother always had her cousins to play with while the 3 couples rented camps during the summer. My mother is still close with some of those cousins. The year I was born these 3 brothers and their wives bought 3 plots of land on lake Kashawakamak and built 3 camps next to each other. My Aunt Deloris (now deceased) and Uncle Ronnie, Aunt Lottie and Uncle Bob and my grandparents all had their land and built their camps each one helping the other. This helping each other continued until about 5 years ago when they began to get frail. Every summer for as long as I can remember, my Grandparents would take my sister, me and my cousin up to camp and my aunts and uncles would bring their grandchildren up to camp too. So, I always knew my second cousins well and would play with them, swimming, fishing and best of all, working on a play that we would put on near the end of the week. We'd always charge admission and our grandparents would always pay and Aunt Lottie would always bake up a storm. She would make the most wonderful eclairs and pastries and we'd sell them too. So we'd goof around, do our play and just have a marvelous time. I have a picture that I treasure of all of us grandkids in my Aunt Lottie/Uncle Bob's camp with bright smiling faces and tanned faces and arms. Aunt Lottie was also known as the candy lady. She always had stacks of candy and we'd go to her camp to fill our bags the first day and go back for refills as needed. This was true for my children as well, as they knew their Aunt Lottie well too.

Later on in years as I grew and began a family of my own, I got to know Aunt Lottie well. We'd talk about things and when I met Cheryl, she never hesitated to tell me how wonderful she thought she was. She was really the only one of that generation to accept openly that I was gay and we had a lot of talks about that. After we were grown and gone, my grandparents, Aunts and Uncles retired and everynight would rotate camps and play Uno, women against the Men and we'd always hear, who was winning, who had what best strategy, etc. This is as close knit as a family gets.

My grandmother and Aunt Lottie worked together for a time, serving lunches in the Syracuse district and the stories they can tell. My grandmother is still living and I will continue to cherish every moment with her. I can't imgine the pain that my mother's cousin's are going through, not to mention my second cousins. BTW - we never thought of each other as second cousins, ect. We always just called each other cousins and my great aunts/uncles were always just called Aunt/Uncle.

When my Aunt Deloris died about 3 years ago, my Aunt Lottie became depressed. When my grandfather died, she talked about wanting to die herself. Then her sister's husband died and then her sister. It became unbearable for her to process this grief. She was in pain from Lupis and had a hard time walking although she still got around pretty well. She had the most beautiful white hair and I will miss her walking over from her camp to ours and coming in to say hi. I will miss sitting with her and talking with her. I kept meaning to go out to her house and sit and talk with her and never made it.

So, I want to tell herhusband, Uncle Bob, her children, Charlotte and Bobby, her grandchildren, Connie, Robbie, Shelly, Jaime, and Sally Jo that I know your pain having just lost another leaf of our tree. But your mother/grandmother was one of a kind. She loved everyone and while she had her opinions, she loved you all so much. She loved us all so much. Aunt Lottie has gone on to a better place, this I know for sure, but I just can't help thinking, "They are falling, all around us, They are falling, all around us, they are falling, all around us, the strongest leaves of our tree." (Holly Near)

Yes, our tree will go on. It continues to this day. But watching those leaves rise up and leave is the hardest journey for me on this earth today.

OK, don't faint.....

Every time I get on the computer I keep thinking about this blog and try and decide whether to let it die it's slow painful death of ressurect it. So, here is my attempt at ressurection.

The Knafelc-Schmidt clan has been busy as bee's. I was just chuckling when I actually wrote that because I really have 2 last names. The high school calls asking for Mrs. Knafelc and the Elementary calls and asks for Mrs. Schmidt. Then of course I have to discern what Mrs. Schmidt they want, me or Cheryl. And to make things more exciting, Katie's teacher next year is Mrs. Schmidt. It's always fun around here. I will legally change my last name to Schmidt when Gillian graduates from High School, but I do love the last name of Knafelc. For those of you who don't know how to pronounce it, I am hearing the sigh's of relief across the world. Judy, remember the time the sub in 8th grade social studies called me Kanaflex? Now, I have to admit that was the best one. Gillian thinks I cursed her because I named her Gillian instead of Jillian. I did it because I didn't want her called Jill. So, guess what she (and everyone else calls her?) Gil. UGH. I can't win. And I really fought long and hard over Katie's name. Remember those of you who knew me when I was pregnant with her? Saying how Katie Jo wasn't sophisiticated? LOL! I did fight for Katheriine Josephine, but lost. Cheryl's grandmother was Katie and mine was Josephine (although for the record, I always called her Grandma Jo and so did everyone else). Anyway, back to my story. Come to find out that when Cheryl's brother was doing the family history, Cheryl's grandmother's given name was was KATHRINE! HA! But I can't see her as anything other than Katie. Her kindy teacher called her Kate and she always sounded so grown up when I heard her call her that and Katie told me that one of the aides in the room called her Katie Jo Jane which I love and still call her now. Much to her delight I might add. Katie and Gillian both hate their name, but I remind them frequently that I could have just named them Baby Knafelc and Baby Schmidt until they were old enough to name themselves. Besides, isn't it a parent's perogative to torture their children by naming them names they hate? LOL

Onto other things! Gillian leaves on Saturday for Ostomy/diversion camp (as in J Pouch diversion, not behaviour diversion although I can't say that thought hasn't crossed my mind once or twice). This is the first time that she will be flying away from me and she is going all the way to Colorodo. I guess it's practice for when she leaves for college huh? Katie, Cheryl and I are taking off for a few days of fun in Lancaster PA. Mostly because I want to visit some quilt museums and they have a lot there. We are also going to see "In the Beginning" a bible based show down there that I heard was awesome and possibly get Katie to go to DutchWonderland. She saw a dressed up dinosaur on the website so she is convinced it will be walking around the grounds and doesn't want to go. Anyone have some good clues on how to get a 6.5 year old over her fear of dressed up people? It's getting old I do have to admidt. We'll be back by Thursday to get Gil off the plane.

Then we have the 3rd week in August slated to go and visit the 5 college area of NorthHampton MA. Gillian really wants to go to Smith, so we are visiting there, Hampshire, U Mass Amherst, Mt. Holyoke and Amherst. Hopefully, she will wittle down her list, add a few SUNY schools and we will set up some interviews and start getting rolling on college apps. We are still waiting on her SAT scores and she aced all her Regents and finals which given the fact that she was out of school more than she was in it, is a testement to this kids willpower and strength. Not to mention her smarts.

Cheryl is still working at Upstate and I am still working as a Domestic Engineer (read SAHM) Cheryl tolerates her job, but once Gil graduates I can't promise that we will stay here. My disabilities are getting to the point where I need more moderate weather and no stairs, so we will see where that takes us. I found a new Primary Care MD and within 2 appts found out that my thyroid is low and my vitamin D had bottomed out. I am now on meds for that along with my high cholesterol (which she thinks will even out when my Thyroid does) I also finally went for my bone density scan and my spine is very fragile (not including the parts that have already been operated on and have hardware) so the MD is trying to get approval from the insurance company to start me on IV Boniva once every 3 months. Yes, not once a year, but once every 3 months. I don't think I could take having another back operation.

Operation diet has commenced for me too. I gained so much weight with my wonky thyroid that I now have to get it back off. It will help my back and my new problem of having something wrong with the muscle that travels up the front of you. I suspect that it will help my knees and ankle's too.

I am still considering Seminary. I think my best bet will be to see Gillian off to college and get Katie safely ensconsed into 2nd grade before I can devote the willpower to that. So, in place of that I have taken on reading the bible cover to cover and then will go out and buy a study bible to become even more schooled in it.

I am still quilting when my legs and back can stand it. I have lots of UFP's (unfinished projects) including the quilt that Katie picked out for her and I to do for her kindy teacher. That is most pressing as I don't want her graduating from college before it's done. I would say LOL, but it could happen.

I promise for those of you who have been faithful readers that I will try my best to keep you all updated OK?

WOW

Has it really been that long since I have written? Sorry about that folks. Life has been incredibly stressful here. Let me fill you all in.

I think the last time I wrote, Gillian had had her 2nd surgery and was recovering from that. She had a difficult time in her recovery and was hospitalized twice for dehydration and pain. She has since had her 3rd and last (hopfully) surgery. This was her take down surgery where they reconnect her intestines and take down the ileostomy. She has done wonderfully with this surgery. I am still fighting with her to get her to drink and take her meds...it's the whole teen thing, if I don't feel it, I don't need it kind of thing. Along with thinking she knows everything! At any rate, we made it through that surgery and I am just exhausted.

Exhausted to the point where I have been sleeping about 15 hours a day. I have to get back into the doctors and find out what is going on. They think it might have something to do with elevated testosterone levels, but since I haven't been able to get myself to the MD to get the blood taken, I don't know.

Katie is doing great. She still loves school and is just whipping through. She is reading up a storm and adding and subtracting. She loves science and is going to participate in the science fair with her Mama. I love watching their relationship grow together. For those who were worried that they wouldn't bond because I was breastfeeding and staying home with her, well you worried for nothing. She has a very strong bond with her Mama. Sometimes, I will admit, that I feel jealous because they are so close and Katie prefers her Mama over me, it's plain to see. So, I am just trying to be happy for them and not be jealous.

I am still waiting for disability. I hate that system I tell ya. My back is worse than it ever was and I am still waiting for Comp to come through so that I can get my ankle repaired again. I am just tired of waiting for everyone to get their act together.

See, I knew why I stopped blogging....all I seem to do is whine.

Wendy

Gillian's surgery

#2 for those of you keeping track. Life has been unbelievably busy around here and this morning we leave for the hospital in about 2 hours for Gillian to be admitted for her 2nd surgery. This is the surgery where they will create the J Pouch and then give her a loop ileostomy. The loop is somewhat different than what she has now as right now her ostomy is from the end of her small instesting and they are going to move that down and connect it to her rectum, creating a J Pouch. Then they will pull up a loop of her small intestine and that will be her new ostomy for about 6-8 weeks while the J Pouch heals and begins to learn it's function as a colon. In a bout 6 weeks they will scope her and if the JPouch looks healed they will go ahead and shoot dye up through there letting it spill into her bag to make sure the passage is clear. If it is, then they will close of the ostomy and she will be free to go to the bathroom normally. Well, what will become normal to her. 12-15 loose stools a day. They won' hurt and they will get better as the J Pouch learns what it's supposed to do.

So, I have been trying to read, keep up with MD appt's, and quilt. I am just trying to find things to do for myself. They still don't know why I am so swollen and when my regular MD comes back from maternity leave, hopefully they will run the "right" tests to show what is going on.

Katie is doing great in Kindy! She really loves it. Her teacher is wonderful and nurturing which is totally what Katie needs right now with her house ready to move in upheaval land again. This time Gillian should only be in the hospital 3-5 days rather than the 20 something she was in last time. This takes such a toll on Katie as she loves her sister and just wants her to be OK.

Now on a completely different note, how about that inauguration eh? Wasn't that something? I love Obama almost as much as I did Clinton. And not a more glorious site was to be seen when Bush got on his flight out of DC. Good bye and good riddance I say! I love Michelle Obama, her poise and grace are just what the white house needs right now. I have a feeling that we will hear more from her than we did Laura. I think that she will be visable as Hillary was. And what about her being made Secretary of State. Now that is just plain cool I say!

And TV! Anyone here watch LOST? I only watched the first hour, so don't give it away OK? And last night I watched A Very Duggar Wedding which led to some interesting conversations between Cheryl and I. I loved when Jim Bob took Josh off for his "man to man" talk and talked about cherishing women. Then they had to blow it al when during the ceremony they focused on him being her authority. GAG! And we are still die hard Jon and Kate + 8 fans. Can't wait for tonight for them to show where they moved.

So here is a high five to a new administration where hopefully we pull out Iraq and shut down Guantanamo Bay and finally start to lift this country our of the deficit that we are in! I am so hopeful!

Pure nastines

Well, let me start out by saying that I apologize for not writing for so long. My life continues to be consumed by my ever growing medical problems list and Gillian's second surgery is coming up on the 26th of this month. As you can imagine, things have gone to high alert in the family. Even though I vowed that I was going to just "Let go and let God" I don't seem to be following my own advice very well.

So, let me back up and fill you all in. Despite the cold and snow that seems to keep piling up, we had a very nice Christmas. I have decided however, that this is the last year that we are rushing through unwrapping gifts, hurrying to get dressed to head out to my sister's where we rush through opening up gifts so that we can hurry to Cheryl's mother's so that we can sit down and have dinner. It's too much. I just want to spend the day with my family, where the kids can enjoy their presents, and it can just be peacefull. I am all about peace this year.

Speaking of Christmas, Santa was good to everyone this year. He brought an American Girl doll for Katie with a couple of changes of clothes for her. Her new doll is named Amanda and has her very own canopy bed. I just got done finding her a mattress and picked up some cute floral fabric to make a sheet set for the bed. There were some other small things, including a Hello Kitty Camera that I can wait to download the pictures from to see things from her perspective. Gillian got an Ipod Nano. We were going to get her the shuffle, indeed had already bought it and then decided that we would go for the Nano for her and I would keep the shuffle for myself. She seems to be plugged into some kind of technology at all times. I guess that is a teenager for you! I bought Cheryl a new camcorder for her Christmas/birthdat present and she has been having a ball making memories for us. I can't wait to download some of the videos's and share them. I got my most coveted Christmas present of all. A Tassimo coffee maker. Google it if you want to know more, but basically, you fill the well with filtered water, and then buy these little disc's that the machine reads and brews a perfect cup of whatever you've put in there. And does it ever make good coffee, latte's, and even Hot Cocoa. We have a monthly plan where they send you more coffee every 4 weeks and I am just in heaven. No more trying to guess how many cups to make. This just makes it one cup at a time!

Well, I have to go, with so much more to write. Cheryl's mom fell and broke her wrist and I need to take her to her follow up appt to make sure it's healing OK! I will be back later with some pictures and more about my life in general.

Wendy