Saturday, September 23, 2006

Eeeek, there's a mouse!

So, dear readers, I am sorry that I haven't been a good blogger, but you see, we seem to have a new member in our family (well, maybe several) and it is consuming all my time. The other night, I was lying in bed, the kids asleep, Cheryl was downstairs making her lunch...sounds just bucolic doesn't it? When all of the sudden, I hear this racket from downstairs. I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs only to find Cheryl on her knees in front of Katie's Dora House. I know you are all thinking something dirty, but the cat was circling, trying her damnedest to get....what? A friggen mouse. Apparently, while I was lying upstairs in bucolia, the cat spied a mouse and went beserk, leading Cheryl to run to see what the hell was going on. She see's the mouse cornered in the Dora house, goes and grabs a trashcan and throws it over the mouse, which as you might imagine, pissed the cat off. I grab her a piece of cardboard to slip under the can and out the door the mouse goes.

So, here I think it's just a one time thing...never had a mouse in the house before. No evidence (or so I thought) of there being any around, I just assumed he scrambled in when a door was open. HAHAHA! The night before last I reached under the sink cupboard to get a roll of paper towels and it was wet under there. I start pulling things out to see where the water is coming from and find.....yup, you guessed it.....mouse turds. Ewwww. I pulled everything out, cleaned up under the sink. Used half a bottle of pine sol while doing it too. Never did find out where the leak was, but did find out why the cat has been sitting in front of the cupboard, whining and pawing trying to get in. Now, lest you think that I am stupid, not recognizing that something might be under there driving her crazy...the trashcan is kept under there and whenever we take it out to empty it, she likes to explore under there. Last night, I noticed more turds. Ewww....out comes the pine sol again, with a plea to the wife to see if she can find where they are coming from.

Fast forward to this morning. Katie was doing her morning calesthenic's on the couch and had her head down, and say's "Mommy, there's a mouse under the couch" I scream at her to get over to me (probably traumatized her against mice now) and Cheryl comes to inspect. Yes, indeed, another mouse. Didn't run, so we are assuming that it was mangled by the cat, but not killed. Cheryl scoops it up and puts it outside...while the cat, Lily, looks longingly out the door.

So, we have mice...somewhere in this house. Ewww...just the thought makes me squirm. Katie is not terrorized, she thought it was cute. Cheryl will be on the lookout for the rest of them.

I am off to Target to get some mouse traps. I am not as nice as Art Sweet. When she had woodchucks eating her flowers and plants, she went out and got one of those humane traps. I'm just not as nice as her. The plain old fashioned one's will do for me!

Monday, September 18, 2006

What will my last words be?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"What we know is not much. What we don't know is enormous."

Thursday, September 14, 2006

My baby is....

Going to Pre-K tomorrow! And for the first time in 3 years, I won't be staying with her! When we first started our school district's pre-K program when Katie was 18 months, she was still in diapers, still sleeping with us and still breastfeeding! In that program, we stayed together for the one hour a week that we were there. When she started the 2 year old program, she was still in diapers, still nursing, and still sleeping with us. And we still stayed in the same room with the kids, but only for 1 of the 2 hours. Then we went into another room for the other hour, but it was within the room they were in. They knew we were there....! When we left the 2 year old program at the end of the year, Katie was weaned, potty trained and no longer sleeping in our bed! So, it seems fitting that such a big girl would be going to pre-K 2 days a week (except for one friday each month added in)and on Monday's I will bring her there, interact for 15 minutes and then when she leaves for Gym, I will leave the building and go somewhere. That somewhere is still to be determined! Tomorrow happens to be their first Friday, so tomorrow Katie will be at school without me for the first time. On Wednesday's I stay, but only with her for the first 15 min and then they leave for gym and we head to the parenting room.

I love this program. It is so wonderful, the teacher's are wonderful and it's FREE! She is going to school with kids that will be in her Kindergarten in 2 years (I did not just say that did I?)

So, pray tell, what does one do with 2 free hours?

Saturday, September 09, 2006

I just want to stop feeling overwhelmed

So, my MD upped my medication to 3 X's a day. I go to pick up the script and the insurance only gives me enough for 2 X"s a day. Since when does the insurance company decide how many pills you get a day? Now, I need to call the MD on Monday to see if he can get the insurance company to pay for the extra pill. And we are talking oxycontin here, not amoxicillan! What if the insurance compancy says no? What am I supposed to do? It's just one more damn thing I have to do and I am so sick of it.

I wish I could stop taking these meds but until they find out and fix the problem, I have to take them. I am going for a discography on the 28th (or whatever the last Thursday in Sept. is). They told me that it's the most painful procedure they do on a back and they can't medicate you because they have to replicate the pain.

Anyway, just writing about it all makes me feel overwhelmed all over again.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

True friends are friends that care....

Thank you to all of my friends IRL and on the web who have either commented, e-mailed me privately or called me. I'm sorry that I let a few people get to me.

I spent a lot of time last night praying. I find that praying is very powerful for me. I do feel as though God has been testing me, but also showing me that althogh bad things happen, something good does come out of them. I was denied SSD and people that knew me, jumped in to help us out, cheer us up and just plain let us know that we are loved. I guess some people don't understand that, or maybe they haven't even felt that love themselves. I am sorry about that.

I have been part of many online communites, each one different in their own way, each one fullfills a different need that I have. But the one thing they all have in common are people that care about me and my family. I have been part of most of these communities for 6 or 7 years. I feel grateful to know so many caring and wonderful women (because all of them are women based for the most part). You have loved me, challenged me and I have learned so much from every single person who I have had contact with!

I refuse to let the few people who want to try and make me feel bad succeed. It's not fair to the people who have worked so hard to help me feel happy, safe and loved.

So, to Kim from my Queer moms group who spearheaded their help and my Queer moms, thank you for always being there. The one thing that I love about being part of that community is always having my views about anything in life challenged. I have learned more about life than life has taught me! Thank you for your support over the past 8 years!

And to Estelle, who spearheaded getting Katie a safe carseat, thank you and everyone that pitched in to help. You have been a great friend and I appreciate your willing to help us out with something that was so needed.

And to Raechelle who got together with my L-Moms and took up a collection. You all have been a part of my life for many least 5. I feel like you are all a part of my family. So many of our children have been raised through this group. I feel like you all the village that we need to raise our children. And Rae - you and I are going through some of the same things. It is so nice (if I can use that word) to not be going through this alone. Through the midst of your own pain, you went and did something for our pain. Thank you all.

And to my good friends over at Attachment Parenting after Infertility. We have all been through so many of the same challanges. And while we don't always see eye to eye on some things (mainly political) we are always respectful to each other and supportive in many ways. When you sent that bike for Katie, I was speechless. It was an act of generosity that I never expected.

I want to publically thank you all for everything that you have given me over the past 8 years. You have all given so much over the years and I love you all! I look forward to many more years with you all.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

No, you don't need to get your eyes checked

I deleted the last post and I am going to post here for people to stop sending us things. For the record, we aren't getting a new van, a used van or any other kind of vehicle. In case I was clear enough (and apparently I wasn't) in the post that I deleted, I was wishing out loud. I guess a person can't do it. So, those of you who think I have a different personality, I am sorry. What started out as some nice people helping us out at a time when we needed it, turned into a question about my honesty and integrity.

I am so sad and hurt. That even one person would think that I am lying. Do you seriously think that I want to feel this way? Do you seriously think I like to accept help from other's?

I didn't ask for one thing that was sent to us. Not ONE thing. I accepted it graciously, maybe even grudgingly. I was writing about my feelings about not being able to get my kids the things they want (not need) and people that I consider my friends wanted to go above and beyond to do those things for my kids because they love and care about us. And they also know that I would do the same for them, anytime, anywhere. Because that is the kind of person I am. I didn't write because I thought that somone would send us stuff. It was the furthest thing from my mind. In fact when I heard that some people wanted to help out, I was VERY surprised. I was not expecting it.

So, if you think I was trying to scam anyone, I am sorry. It's not who I am and those of you who know me, know this. I don't even know why I am writing this because I am sure that the people who wrote to Estelle and left me nasty comments (on the post I took down) won't read this. I am writing because I am so upset that even one person thinks that I am dishonest.

I will assume that those of you who are reading this, do know the real me. Please know that I appreciate everything you have done for me and my family. More than you will ever know.

Well, I keep rambling and deleting. I guess the bottom line is that I am just going to assume that the people who know me, know me well and that is all that matters. I don't want anyone to think that I am a bad, or lying to get things. I would never disrepect people I consider friends this way.

Friday, September 01, 2006

The love keeps pouring in....

So, I am hearing that more good and needed things are on the way. I am so overwhelmed with all of this outpouring of love. I want to thank Raechelle and Estelle for taking such good care of our family when we need it the most. You both rock. You know I will write more...when I can think of words that can explain how I feel. I love you both. And, to all the people who contributed to make these gifts a reality, drop me a line (L-Moms too) so I can thank you all properly.

Good news and bad....

Well, I continue to be amazed at the generosity of IRL friends as well as web friends. Yesterday my friends over at Attachment Parenting after Infertility sent Katie a Dora bike! She hasn't stopped riding it since Mama put it together. Thanks guys! You have made my baby so, so happy. And to all who keep sending us stuff, I continue to thank you. You will never know the positive impact you have had on our family!

Now for the semi-bad news. My MRI showed a lesion on my spine that could be a hemangioma, but the MD says that it looks atypical. I am going for a bone scan next week. Most of you know about my cancer let's pray that it's just a weird hemagioma and not bone cancer. And let's hope that this hemagathingy is causing most of my back pain and if we can get rid of it, I might find some pain relief!

Thanks again everyone. I will keep saying it over and over....