Friday, December 22, 2006

Waiting some more

Well, we met with the MD from hell yesterday and he has washed his hands of me. Doesn't know what is wrong, doesn't think it's MS, says go and get some balance therapy and maybe you'll feel all better.

I can't remember a time when I have been so mad, sad, anxious, depressed and then mad, sad and everything all over again. The wait for the local hospital is long but I am waiting to see if I can get into the clinic in Rochester. I don't want to go there either.

You know what I want? I WANT MY DAMN BODY BACK, and I want it back the way it was. You know, when I could read all I want? When I could walk without falling down? When I could hold things without dropping them? When I could maintain a coherent thought in my mind? YES!!!! That body. The one that doesn't hurt all the time. The one that I can trust to do the things that I used to be able to trust it to do.

This sucks. That's all I have to say about it.


Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time!! It so sucks that doctors have to be such a$$es all the time!! I hope you find someone you are comfortable with and willing to help you, soon!! After all of these years I still have a terrible time trusting doctors and I so fault a few a$$es for that, it so sucks!!! Sending well wishes your way, you so deserve it!!!

Anonymous said...

There is a special place in hell for doctors like that one. I am so mad right along with you. I will say extra prayers for you that you find someone who actually has a clue, cause it sure sounds like MS to me. I hope that even though you are dealing with all of this "stuff" that you can find some peace and joy in the holidays. Have a family hug and feel the love. Big Hugs

Rae said...

damnit. damnit. damnit. i am so sorry you are going thru this. i understand how bad it sucks to KNOW there is something wrong with your body and have everyone write you off because they are too stupid and lazy to take the time to figure it out. medical school doesn't make them God but they sure fuck up our lives. Wen I don't even have the words to comfort you or make it better, but maybe it'll make you feel a tiny bit better knowing there is someone out there who genuinely cares about you and wants better for you. Sending you hugs from southern california.......rae

Judy said...

Of course there is a special place in hell for this kind of dr. There is also a special place in hell for the doctors who tell you "it's all in your head." I have had more women tell me that they've encountered this in the past year. In fact, my SIL had pain for 7+ years, they finally determined that it was her gall bladder (had nothing to do with her head). What a bunch of yutzes. And we are supposed to trust them with our lives.

Dharma said...

Okay here another spin. He doesn't think it's MS, so let's see, with a better doctor who has bedside manners of, oh, I don't know, me? and find out what it *really* is and get your body working better.