Friday, October 31, 2008

It gets me every single time

Just like a sucker punch to the gut. Why do I always have a horrible September and October? Then when I get through the crap, I am reminded in the back of my mind...Duh, you lost your baby boy in September and your father in October. What did I say lost, that almost makes it sound like they can be found. And that is a joke because I will never see either one of them.

I still miss my father with a pain as deep as the soul can feel. I wish everyday that he was here to play with his grandchildren because I know he would have made a hell of a grandpa. So, to those of you whose children still have their grandpa's, call him today and thank him for being the wonderful grandpa that your kids could ever have OK?

And for those of you who have lost a baby, you know the drill. They say it gets easier, but you know what? It doesn't. Not for one bit. It's like a wound that is split wide open and gradually grows together and then slowly grows a scab. The scab routinely gets pulled off, the pain comes back but it isn't quite as bad as it was.

I miss you Dad.

I miss you my baby boy Jared.

I love you both.

You will never ever be forgotten.



Cuz Shari said...

Your Heavenly Father is always with you and take comfort knowing that Jesus holds you as his most precious and cherished child. Your memories of both (dad and son)here on earth are all yours to keep but Jesus is for an eternity.
Luv Cuz Shari

Judy said...

My thoughts are with you. Of course I cannot understand what you are going through, having never been there, but you do have my love and friendship always.

rae said...

all my love. i do understand. because you speak of them, they can never be forgotten.
hugs friend