Is this what hell feels like?

Since I last reported in I have had a whirlwind time. I was admitted into the hospital on Wednesday last week and was released on Sunday. At least I think those were the days. On Tuesday night I couldn't feel my leg and on Wednesday I was in screaming pain in my back. I had started babysitting on Monday and am pretty sure that all the lifting and carrying of a 12 pound baby did me in. And it's the leg that I have had trouble with since my back operation. Now the ortho who did my surgery swears there is nothing showing that this leg issue has anything to do with the back and that it's neurological. But all the neuro tests they have run show nothing. Where is House when you need him huh?

So, I have been mighty depressed over goings on in the house and now my increased disability. Which by the way we still have no date to go before the judge. I am so tired of this. I was hoping to pick up some extra cash to pay off the sewing machine I bought to start making Katie's clothes! HA! Nothing like life to bite one in the ass.

Starting tomorrow, I am sitting at that Machine and going to start creating. I am not going to sink into depression and I am going to make some of the most fabulous clothes you've ever seen. I refuse to let depression get the better of me!

My church family, internet family and friends (who are like family) have been wonderful. My poor mother is probably afraid to answer the phone lest she have a crying daughter on the other line, but she does and she listens and sometimes, that is all I need.

I am still going to meetings at church, and although I am not driving yet, people have been wonderful about driving me around.

So, keep your eyes open for more cute clothes coming your way! I am going to sew and it's going to be great!
Wendy

Everyone's E-bay selling

Sung to the tune, everyone's Kung Foo Fighting.....and I am too. This is your chance if you want to score some really nice summer (and a few winter items too) at a great price. I am getting ready to list a ton of Hanna Andersson Play all Day sets (size 110), some Lilly Pulitzer summer dresses (size 6), a Biscotti Tulle Skirt (size 6) and some Mulberribush (also size 6). The last 2 are new with tags still on. There will probably be some Gymboree thrown in and maybe a little Naartjie to round things out. I am still going through all the summer stuff from last year to see what won't fit and what will! Keep checking back if you don't see something you like now, chances are you will tomorrow. My e-bay ID is gandksmom1967 Feel free to ask me any questions!

So, besides being busy listing (I am only doing it twice a year now if I can help it) I also am trying to start Katie's Easter dress. I decided that I can make those cute outfits that I find and also have the satisfaction that I made it! I am also in the middle of making her quilt. Then I have Gillian's quilt to start. I just wish that I could make her clothes too, but what 15 year old wants her mother to make her clothes?

Still lots of stress in the house, trying to get through it. Loving thoughts for everyone in the house is greatly appreciated. Thanks and look forward to some pics of the Easter dress sooon!

Wendy

As promised, Matilda Jane Clothes!

As promised, the gifts that Denise over at Matilda Jane Clothing sent us! The first outfit is a cute little knot dress with flare leg leggings that are just too cute!



And here she is sporting a very adorable furry little jacket that actually goes with another outfit that we have. When she wears it again, I will take more pics.



Thank you again Denise! If you are interested in these incredibly cute clothes, please visit Denise's site at the above link and tell her I sent you! Take some time to read her blog, since it's quite facinating. I never imagined all the work that goes into starting up a new business! Also, she carries some great women's clothes too! Thank you again Denise, from the bottom of our hearts! We love you and MJC!

Wendy (and Katie)

Creating.....

I know that I started a new blog for this kind of thing, and it will find it's way over there too, but here is the skirt I made for Katie along with my first try at appliquing. There are mistakes, and I have learned a lot, but it's still pretty cute I think! The last dress is the newest from Hanna Andersson for Spring! I was able to get it because an outfit that I bought a while ago ran and they gave me a nice credit. I didn't think I would like it at first, but it really looks cute on!








And in my next post....I was the lucky recipient of Denise, the brain child of Matilda Jane Clothing! She handed out some random acts of kindness and sent Katie some beautiful clothes. I will post those pictures here and over at the other site I have for all my sewing and kids clothes passions! Anyway, off to start work on my next creation!
Wendy

Starting New Years with a BANG!

I don't really talk much here about stuff going on at home, but I am just so tired of it all. I really am. Yesterday starts with Gillian (15) telling me all the ways that I have failed as a parent, how she hates living here and could she please go and live somewhere else. There is a run away shelter, but I would hate for her to go there. And I don't want to take her there, because I feel as though the message she would be getting from me is that I don't want her here. Which is not true. I love her, but her actions and attitude are really out of control. She told me yesterday that she hates her sister, which I have pretty much known since she was born.

I feel as though I am at the bottom of this big hole. I feel like everyone in my family is making me choose between each other. I feel as though it would just be better if I left. But of course I can't do that. I have to stay. Because responsible people just don't leave their families. And I do love them. All of them. But I am so tired. So tired of dealing with it. Tired of dealing with kids who think they know everything, tired of fighting with my partner over everything. It feels like all of the joy in my life has gone away. This hole I am in is BIG and I don't see a ladder, rope or anything else to help me climb out of it. I feel stuck. I am mad. I am sad. I am just a big puddle of angrysadmad feelings and I don't know what to do with them.

Yes, we are all in couseling. I am working on issues. But I don't think it's enough and I don't think we have enough time before a big implosion happens.

I guess it's good I got out of bed today. Because I have to be responsible right? I hate responsible. I wish I could just lay in bed all day and cry and not be responsible. But I can't do that can I? Darn.

UPDATE: I have decided to start a blog dealing with my depression. I want to keep this one about my family and the good things in life. If you are interested in reading about my journey through depression, let me know and I will give you the link.

Good bye 2007, Welcome 2008!

Gillian and her mom!



Visting with our friends from Israel - Susan and Noa and their children too!


Learning how to ride my new bike (thank you Mommy's IFAP Loopie friends) with Grandma and Mama


Happy 84th Birthday Grandpa


Happy Easter!


The quilt I made for Grandpa!


My cousin and I!


Merry Christmas!


Lots of pics didn't make the cut, but as I get them ready for the computer, I will add them. I realized that I never uploaded the ones from my 40th birthday! They will eventually make their way over here! I have lots of Katie, a few of the camera shy Gillian and fewer of Cheryl and virtually none of me! LOL! Funny how that happens!

Happy New Year everyone!
Wendy