Post Op Appt

I had my post op appt today and the MD thinks that the healing is going well. He is telling me to take it easy and I told him I can definately tell when too much is too much. Someday's a visit from a friend is too much and other day's I can do more. I just never know. I am still having a lot of pain which we pretty much figured out that is coming from back spasms. I am trying to sleep a lot which isn't always easy. My MIL is leaving for DC tomorrow and I got scared today wondering what I was going to do without her becacause she is totally my main support, driving me places and taking Katie so I can rest. I told you all before that I don't know what I would do without her and I mean that! Cheryl told me that if I need her to she will take the days off, but I really need to do this. Katie has school this Friday and someone from Church has offered to drive us back and forth and we are still getting meals until Sunday. What a blessing that is.

I just have to get better on not answering the phone and telling people that I am just not up for visits. It's not easty when I get lonly, but I need to rest. Bottom line.

I thought for sure the MD would send me for PT today, but he just looked at me and said that we would talk about PT in another 2 months. That really put into perspective for me just how much healing my body still needs to do and how easy I need to take it. I got to see the screws and rods, cages and mesh that was put in. WOW is all I can say. No wonder I feel so tired all the time. My poor body had a lot of work done to it. A LOT! So, off to rest I am. Thank you all for the wonderful messages of support and love. They are all so appreciated!

This feels bigger than I can take

I haven't wanted to say anything about this, because ignorance is bliss right? But since my surgery, the pain in my right leg has been so bad (mostly in the thigh, sometimes radiating down my leg or up into my hip) that I just want to cry. I have myself convinced that I have just caused myself another problem. If the back problem is somewhat relieved, I now caused another issue with this pain in my leg.

I swear to you people, I am back to my bad spot. Convinced I have a blood clot in my leg although everything I read tells me that isn't it.

I want to give up.

Thank you to all

Well, blogger ate my first post....I want to shout out and Thank Monkey for her most needed phone call today. I was/am feeling down in the dumps and her phone call was just the pick me up I needed. Just knowing that someone clear across the country was thinking of me and took time out of her very busy life for me made my day. Thank you so much Monkey!

And to thank all the people who have sent flowers (Gwendolyn, Mom and lots of friends from church), cards (way too numerous to count) and all of the delicious dinners that we get every other night from church. Thank you so much Barb for arranging dinners for us through APRIL and too all who have made these sustaining dinners. I don't think there are words for me to express my thanks. Yesterday my friend Tracey came and picked up Katie and took her to story time and then back to her house for a play date so I could rest.

And the biggest thank you of all goes to my MIL and Cheryl. She has taken Katie everyday for part of the day so that I can get some rest. I truly don't know what I would do without her. Katie loves her Grandma so much that today she asked if she could move in with us so she could see her everyday!

Cheryl has so much responsibility which she just takes with a grain of salt. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful partner who is always there for me, kids who are patient (well some of the time)and family and friends who really care.

So, if you want to call me, e-mail me for my phone number! I am always home! LOL!

Still alive

And very much in pain although I will say it's less. But the exhaustion. OMG I never thought a person could feel so tired. I promise you all that I will write a nice long update about the operation and the healing process when I can sit for more than 3 minutes. Which is just about how long it took me to write this so see you all later.

Hey All!

Quick post to let you all know that I weathered the surgery and so far haven't had any major problems post op. I am so very sore and is my tendency, I want to rush things and stopped taking one of the meds they prescribed (valium for back spasms) and found it just wasn't time. I have an awesome case mamager through the insurance (who just happpens to be our friend) and she has really gone the extra mile with helping me get things set up to make me more moblie. I want to sleep a lot and if you know me, know how quilty that makes me feel! Last night was the first night I got some real restorative sleep (as did Cheryl)! When I can stand and sit more I will tell you all about the experience, escpcially the first night when all my IV's blew and I got no pain relif for 2.5 hours! And I want to tell you all about my great friend Sue who came up and stayed part of the night with me that first awful night!But for now back to bed!

Something beautiful

Last night I went to church for our Lenten Supper and film series. When I got there, the woman who is in charge of getting our meals to us during my recovery was there and took my MIL aside. The next thing I knew, they asked me to come into the lounge and I was presented with a beautiful hand knitted scarf made for me. It is a prayer shawl and the 20 or so women there draped it around me and then all laid hands on me and prayed for me, the MD doing the surgery and for the surgery in general. I have never been so touched as I was last night. I plan to wear the shawl into the "holding area" where I have to wait for the surgery to start and then wrap myself in it while I am recovering. I feel so blessed.

After we had out meal, we went and watched part of the video series we have been watching called Living The Question. Last night's session was on diversity in the church and they actually had a clip of Phelp's doing his thing. We had a lot of interesting conversation come out of that session and again, I feel so lifted up by my church and their inclusiveness. I know there are some people who are not accepting of me and my family, but they are a small minority and to be honest, I don't know who they are. When I wrote my article for the paper, it was received wonderfully and they actually send it out to prospective ministers (we are in the process of looking for a new minister). It feels good knowing that they are looking for a minister who is inclusive.

When I got home last night, there was a B&N bag on the bed and in it were 2 CD's that Cheryl had picked up for me. One is a beautiful prayer CD by Windham Hill and it's just gorgeous. I haven't listened to the other one yet, but it looks promising. I am going to head back there today to look for something meditational and then I will be all set.

I am going into this surgery knowing that there will be pain, but wanting to practive prayer and meditation to get me through the roughest parts. I want off the drugs and am hopeful that it will happen sooner than later. I know that I can't just stop taking them, that I have to taper, and that is what I plan to do with the help of the pain clinic!

Again, I want to thank you all for your wonderful support. I feel so blessed to be so cared for online and off.

2 more days

Until the big surgery! I am torn between being nervous and scared and all things in between. I am trying to keep busy, wrapping up all the little odds and ends that need wrapping up. Of course if I were a good mother I would have done this already right? LOL!

I still need to get the B&N and try and find a meditational kind of tape that I can listen to while I am in the hospital. I hate all the beeping and noises, they just scare me to be honest. I also am not dumb to know that I am going to be in a lot of pain and if I can just meditate and pray that it might just not be as bad as it could be. I won't be able to concentrate on reading and TV is just noise to me.

I have asked Cheryl to update you all here while I am in the hospital. She is going to be really busy keeping up with the kids and me, so I am going to assume she will just drop a line here letting you all know how the surgery went and ETA home. I honestly don't know when I will be back online and plan to go no mail on a lot of my groups.

You can drop me a line in the hospital. If you go to Crouse Hospital There is a place for you to leave me a note (it's almost all the way down the right side of the page) and they will deliver it. My last name is Knafelc.If you don't know my first name by now, well then.... They also have a function for me to set up a page (which I did) but since I can't update it myself, it seemed senseless to send it out. So, you'll have to get your info from Cheryl.

Thanks for all the support you all have given me! Through email, phone calls and just offerring to sit with me at night (thanks Sue) it all means so very much to me. It's nice to know that so many people are pulling for me.

Prayers Please

My surgery is coming up on Friday. Katie came down with a cold yesterday. I took her to the MD today to make sure sure she doesn't have strep or the flu (she doesn't) but if I get her cold, I have to cancel my surgery. I think I might have had the cold last week and gave it to her, but if I did, it was mild. I can't leave her now and stay somewhere else, because A) I've already been exposed and B) I am already so panicked and sad about leaving her while I am in the hospital that I want to cry.

I have so many mixed feelings about this surgery. I want my life back and to get that I need to have the surgery. I want off the narcotics, but I am so scared of the pain that I am going to feel post-OP. I have heard many different stories ranging from being up and about the next day and driving within 2 weeks to others saying that they couldn't even ride in a car for a month.

Anyway, any and all prayers are appreciated. I know that God will do what He will do, but I just want to be done with this already.