For those of you who have been depressed, know that it's different than being sad. I started with this depression way before my mother died. Way before she got sick. Her death has exasperated this depression in a way that I never thought was possible. I have made a counseling appointment. I can't go on anti depressant meds because they all make me sick to my stomach. I was tried on a medication for my OCD that made me sick also.
I feel so helpless. I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. As long as I am sleeping then I don't have to worry about, or think about anything. ANYTHING. And I really don't have anything to be depressed about. Yes, I have something to be sad about. But, I have a wonderful partner who picks up the lion's share of things around the house and taking care of Katie. I have 2 beautiful children, who, while they have their issues, are doing OK where they are. Gillian is doing well in college, although she is struggling with some really hard classes. I give her all the credit in the world for even attempting them. She is one strong woman! Katie, while she has had some emotional issues (and I wonder if she gets them from me) does wonderfully in school with her school work. It's the peer issues that we have to work on. She wears her heart on her shoulder that one!
Anyway, I needed to get my feelings out on "paper" although I don't think I did a very good job with this. I am leaving tomorrow to get Gillian and then we are staying in Albany overnight with some friends before leaving Saturday AM to get home. I have my first appt on Sat Noon and don't want to miss it. So, maybe I will have more to tell after that!