Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Needing to find myself

I feel as though I am wandering around and around. It's this weird thing and I can't quite explain it. The whole retail and needing to buy stuff is wrapped up in it. I can't get enough of buying stuff and as I stated before it can't just be anything. It has to be name brand stuff. I need to get over it already. I stopped working. I think I might go crazy. It's the start of the summer. Who in their right mind stops working at the start of the summer? Gillian has already started in on me being her personal taxi service and I am not going to go there with her! UGH! I am tired of being tired, depressed and just plain sad. I need to get away. Maybe get up to camp and get away from this house and be where nature is. A change of scenery. No computer. No more e-bay! Now there is something to think about. Some books, some peace and quiet and some fun.

Katie starts pre-K next year and I have no idea what I am going to do when she gets on that bus. I know I said the same thing this year. I will find something! Gillian will be back in school. Maybe then I can get the house clean, one room at a time and a big load will be off my shoulder? See how scattered I am? This is what it's like living in my mind.

Now I need to rest!

1 comment:

Judy said...

We all have times like this. Like when Gracie went to K - I started thinking about it the year before. And damn if I didn't end up back in college. And I think we all have things we obsess to have - mine, personally, is ice cream! I could down a half gallon in a heartbeat if I gave myself permission. Cut yourself some slack - you are a good egg, and none of us can be perfect in every arena - we all have imperfections that we wish we could change. But the important stuff - like being a mom and partner - you're excellent at, and that's all that matters.