Tuesday, April 17, 2007

We're staying

I lost my 2nd application for SSD. Came in the mail today. Of course my lawyer didn't care, because it's the first application we care about (the one we are waiting to go back before the judge on) and of course we will appeal this one. They had no records from the ortho MD who put all the hardware in my back.

I am tired. I am done. I don't think many people read this, and if they do, they are damn tired of my whining. Can't even get a home equity loan because of me not working and my high student loans. I told Cheryl to take me off the damn deed because all I seem to do is drag everyone down because I can't work. But I'm not disabled either right....

Fuck it I say, Just fuck it.


Shari said...

DON'T LET THAT PUNK DEVIL WHISPER IN YOUR EAR ANYMORE!!! You are doing just what he whispers- The devil has no new tricks - same line he always give you 'You're no good, you can't get anything, blah blah blah" Stop listening to them- when they say no- Say "But My God shall supply all my needs according to his riches and glory!- You are a child of the Most High God and don't let anyone tell you different- God loves you! The devil's a punk-
Cuz Shari

Judy said...

You are loved. I am holding you very close. You know you are loved, and always will be.

Rae said...

oh wendy.........*hugging you*
i say fuck it too.
life is too damn hard for some people. its just not fair.
i know you'll be on the other side of this someday, looking back on it---just like i'm doing now. i can only hope its sooner rather than later. fuck it all wendy. be mad if you want. you have every right to be.

Anonymous said...

maybe if you did make the move to another state, you could get doctors out there and things will work out wonderfully. I always say, if something isnt working, change it...so maybe the change to another state is what God is trying to tell you

Amanda said...

I agree with the last posting.. what if the SSD thing is a sign?? What if it is time to say fuck it and move. I think change is good and for the better in this case. IMO. :( HUGS

Mermaidgrrrl said...

God this whole disability thing is a freaking nightmare. I would feel down too if it were me!

Laura said...

I say fuck it too. It's too ridiculous that you need to be working this hard to get the benefits you're entitled to. It's just wrong.

Vivian said...

Hang in there, you are so much tougher than all of this. We made the move across the country and left everyone, it was a scary move but it has been so rewarding. Maybe a fresh start would be good for all of you.
Oh and remember Jaime over at MyMSjournal.blogspot.com lives in Washington state and with her health history I am sure she could tell you a bit about how the disability thing works there. Just a thought.
My advice would be to pray about it as a family. You will get through this just remember you have so many people who care and are in your corner. Sending you big hugs chica.
Love, Viv

Charles-A. Rovira said...

Check out the latest issue of "InsideMS". (Volume4 25, number 2) from the National MS Society. (URL: ( http://www.nationalmssociety.org)

In it Lissa Poirot has an article about all the crap you're going through and how to get through it.

(I'm about to go through the same process myself. Wish us luck getting through to the process. But the article give me hope.)

Charles-A. (http://www.MSBPodcast.com)