We are having a BLAST in DC! We got in yesterday and are visiting with Cheryl's brother. We drove down with Cheryl's mom and other than a small glitch of MIL not understand why Katie has to ride in a car seat, it went well. I have to admit that traveling with 2 kids almost 11 years apart is a challenge. Katie is asleep at 8:30PM and Gillian was busy text messaging her friends until the wee hours of the morning. Since MIL is paying for our hotel room, we are all in the same room. UGH and double UGH! But, it's been fun anyway.
Since I can't do a lot of walking, we drove from Springfield VA (where BIL lives) to the National Zoo. We got lost and I got some great pics from driving around the city. There is a metro station right across the street from our hotel, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to walk from the metro stop to the zoo and then walk around the zoo. I did that a few years ago and could barely do it, so I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. And because there are so many of us, we had to take 2 cars. Well, BIL got lost but it was fine with me! I got to see the Washington Monument, the Iwo Jima statue, some protesters downtown and lots of great sights in Georgetown. It was great! And of course there was the ZOO! I got some great pics (that I will DL when I get home) of the kids at the zoo. We saw the panda's, elephants, a HUGE hippo and lots of other animals. We really had a great time.
We got lost heading home, so I got to see some more sights then too! Tomorrow, Cheryl, Katie, MIL, BIL and his son are heading downtown on the metro to go to the Spy Museum while I go with Gillian and SIL to a great mall that has a Hanna Andersson store! I am so excited! An actual Hanna store. Good thing I saved a little of that money my grandpa left for me. I may end up taking the Metro downtown later to meet up with Cheryl and Katie and go on one of those tours, but we'll see how tired I am. Truth be told, the ride down was very unpleasant on my back and sleeping in a strange bed doesn't help either (and having a teenager tap, tap, tapping on her phone till all hours doesn't help either)
So, look for some great pics when we get back. I didn't think to bring the cord to upload....sorry! I will talk with you all when I get back on Tuesday. I am checking e-mal if you need to get ahold of me though!
Wendy
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
More inner musings....reading
Although this one is less maudlin. I think there are going to be lots of nuggets coming out of my mind over the next few months.
Anyway, growing up, I always loved to read. I would go into a panic if there wasn't a book for me to read (and still do). Now that I have money (well kind of anyway) I always have a big stack of books next to my bed to get through.The library is my best friend! And I am always reading. I am the person who reads at stop lights when they are red (and have trained my 5 year old to tell me when the light turns green). I read whenever I can. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't do other things, but reading takes me to a place where nothing else can. Like Anna Quindlen states in her book, Living Out Loud, "I still read constantly: if my kids ever go into analysis, I'm sure they will say they don't really remember my face because it was always hidden by a book. Obviously this is in part because I like books. But another reason is that I like to be alone. I like to go deep inside myself and not be accompanied there by anyone else. But I am the oldest of 5 children (so am I), and when I was young, I had about as much chance of being alone as I did of being a lion tamer. Reading was for me then a way of lifting myself out of a crowded environment into a place where I could be by myself"
When I read this, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. I love the place that reading takes me to. Whether it's fiction or non-fiction, I love all things books. I used to make myself read a book cover to cover, even if I didn't like it. Now, I know that time is too precious to waste on something that I really don't like. But, there is nothing like being transported from this world, directly into another. A world that is quiet and where I can be alone, even if it's just for 5 minutes.
So many books, so little time is my motto....
Wendy
Anyway, growing up, I always loved to read. I would go into a panic if there wasn't a book for me to read (and still do). Now that I have money (well kind of anyway) I always have a big stack of books next to my bed to get through.The library is my best friend! And I am always reading. I am the person who reads at stop lights when they are red (and have trained my 5 year old to tell me when the light turns green). I read whenever I can. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't do other things, but reading takes me to a place where nothing else can. Like Anna Quindlen states in her book, Living Out Loud, "I still read constantly: if my kids ever go into analysis, I'm sure they will say they don't really remember my face because it was always hidden by a book. Obviously this is in part because I like books. But another reason is that I like to be alone. I like to go deep inside myself and not be accompanied there by anyone else. But I am the oldest of 5 children (so am I), and when I was young, I had about as much chance of being alone as I did of being a lion tamer. Reading was for me then a way of lifting myself out of a crowded environment into a place where I could be by myself"
When I read this, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. I love the place that reading takes me to. Whether it's fiction or non-fiction, I love all things books. I used to make myself read a book cover to cover, even if I didn't like it. Now, I know that time is too precious to waste on something that I really don't like. But, there is nothing like being transported from this world, directly into another. A world that is quiet and where I can be alone, even if it's just for 5 minutes.
So many books, so little time is my motto....
Wendy
Monday, April 07, 2008
Making connections
I could have titled this one, Psychic Pain, but went with Connections instead. This is going to be a very painful post for me to write, but I really feel that if I don't get these words out of me, they will eat me from the inside out.
Life has been very rough for me for a while. I can't even pinpoint when the downward slide began, but it's been a while. I am very depressed, and spend a lot of my energy covering that up so that people don't know, although I would guess that those who know me well, know this. I feel like that commercial for Cym*alta lately. You know the one that goes, "Depression hurts?" I could go on and on about what I think is making me depressed, but I think there are 3 things that I can put my finger on. 4 very significat trauma's that have occurred that are all colliding at once and causing me deep psychic pain.
1)My father's death. Some people would say, "Hey, it's been 30 years, let it go already", but it's just not that east. I thought my father would save me from the hell hole that I was living in at the time. Living with an abusive stepfather and an overwhelmed mother. My father's death was single handedly one of the most traumatic events in my life. He was killed in an explosion where he worked when I was 10. Even just thinking about when I was told her was dead can still bring tears to my eyes. It's not just his death that plays into my depression, but the loss of my fantasy that he would take me out of the hell hole that I lived in. He was my LAST resort. And in one fell swoop, POOF, it was gone. I think, no, I know, my ability to trust was badly damaged by this. To say that I miss him is a gross understatement. And with my grandfather's recent death, this drags it all back up again. Opening doors that I thought were shut. Letting those feeling back in and that pain back in.
2)I don't know how much I can talk about this one, but it will be something that I will be journaling about. When I was 14, I met a woman that I started babysitting for. I was just beginning to question my sexuality and was pretty sure that I was a lesbian, although I didn't have a name for it. I knew that I was attracted emotionally to woman more than me, especially woman teachers. I think there was probably some sexual attraction too. So, this woman that I met when I was 14, started what I know now to "groom" me. She paid a lot of attention to me and even though she was dating and sleeping with a man, she started to treat me differently than the other kids in her house. She was a foster mother and in addition to her one biological child, she had several foster children, some young, some teens. I always got special attention. I was attracted to her, I guess you could say I had a crush and was infatuated with her. She knew this and used this. I started to babysit for her and if she would be out late, I would spend the night. Sometimes, I would sleep on the pull out couch if she was bringing her boyfriend home, but if not, I shared her bed. At 15, she finally started to abuse me. At the time, I saw it as love and she really played that up. There is a lot more to this, such as bringing me into her relationship with this man she was involved with and "dumping me" off and on that left me with such grief, that to this day I don't know that I will ever be able to be heathy in a relationship. I feel tainted and dirty. And you can tell me that I was used and abused and that none of it was my fault and intellectually I know this, emotionally, it has left deep scars that I don't know will ever be able to heal from. It impacts who I am as a person, woman and lover to the core. There are too many "unsaids" that I don't want to make public, but this is just an overview. I was robbed of my adolesence. It dawned on me today, my oldest is 15, the same age as I was when the abuse started. It makes a lot of sense to me now, this psychic pain that I have been going through. I see so much of myself in her (my 15 year old) and I feel so strongly the need to protect her from all of the evils in the world. I know that it's true, that when your child is the age you were when you were abused, it tends to bring up all the feelings and hurts that occured when you were that age. I just never really thought about it until now. I have a lot of work to do. A lot of healing. I have been spending a lot of time trying to get out of my own skin. I can't even expain how it feels to be me right now. I feel as though I am that skinny, moody 15 year old all over again, and it hurts really badly. Sometimes it hurts to badly that I just want to leave and get away from everyone and everything. I feel as though I can't be the partner I should be and certainly not the mother my kids deserve. My brain feels so full of pain that I feel as though I am robbing everyone of myself. Including me. I walk around feeling so angry, I know it radiates off me. No wonder our house is a mess of human emotions just flying around. I certainly haven't been a good role model to either one of my children in teaching them how to manage their own emotions. Just look at their mother. This is all I can really say about this issue although the roots are deeply painful and this is just a skim off the top of what happened. This "relationship" went on for 10 years. It wasn't until my 15 year old was born that I realized that I was not going to raise her in this kind of environment. (My ex and I were exclusive for the last 6 years of our "relationship) How sad is that? I couldn't even leave a damaging relationship for myself, but I thank my lucky stars that I could for my child. To give her the chance to be raised by a parent that could model good parenting.
3)Being discrimated against. There is an issue that is going on in my church where I am being discriminated against because of my sexuality. It is draining on my soul. My church is my second home, one of the places that I feel safe and now that safety is being challenged. I have faith in God that this will work out and that the church will do what is right for them. I have been trying to pray a lot. Pray that God will give me the guidance I so deeply need right now. To do the right thing and know what the right thing is. To give me the patience I need to be a good mother and good partner and to give me the grace to be a better person overall.
4) Being disabled - This is probably the biggest current one right now. Still waiting to hear about SSD and still struggling financially. I said to Cheryl the other night that if people don't believe me, I would love for them to live in my body, just one day. To feel the pain that I feel, just for one day. To feel the humilation that I feel because I can't do the things that other people my age can do. I hate walking with a cane, but if I don't, then I run the chance of falling. I want to work. I miss it badly. Thinking about working makes me feel tired. But I feel as though I am letting my family down by not working. We have to go without so much. I know that I have written about this a million times, so I am not going to go through it again. Let's suffice it to say that it's something that I pray about every day. Asking God to please give me a body that doesn't betray me. Because this one does. For those of you who read me and deal with chronic pain, you know exactly what I mean.
If you've read this far, thank you. I feel drained now, but in a good way. I will be writing more privately about my abuse, but I hope telling as much of my story that I did will help anyone reading this that is either going through it or have been through it. Words are very powerful and used in the right way, helpful.
I really want to be happy again. I want to be pain free, both physically and psychically. I want to smile again and be a good role model to my children. I don't want them to see me fighting with my partner. I want them to see a healthy and wholesome relationship. I want to act with grace and dignity. I want to be the partner who gives something instead of always taking. I want to be the mother who can be there for her kids in all ways. I really, really just want to be a healthy and happy ME!
Wendy
Life has been very rough for me for a while. I can't even pinpoint when the downward slide began, but it's been a while. I am very depressed, and spend a lot of my energy covering that up so that people don't know, although I would guess that those who know me well, know this. I feel like that commercial for Cym*alta lately. You know the one that goes, "Depression hurts?" I could go on and on about what I think is making me depressed, but I think there are 3 things that I can put my finger on. 4 very significat trauma's that have occurred that are all colliding at once and causing me deep psychic pain.
1)My father's death. Some people would say, "Hey, it's been 30 years, let it go already", but it's just not that east. I thought my father would save me from the hell hole that I was living in at the time. Living with an abusive stepfather and an overwhelmed mother. My father's death was single handedly one of the most traumatic events in my life. He was killed in an explosion where he worked when I was 10. Even just thinking about when I was told her was dead can still bring tears to my eyes. It's not just his death that plays into my depression, but the loss of my fantasy that he would take me out of the hell hole that I lived in. He was my LAST resort. And in one fell swoop, POOF, it was gone. I think, no, I know, my ability to trust was badly damaged by this. To say that I miss him is a gross understatement. And with my grandfather's recent death, this drags it all back up again. Opening doors that I thought were shut. Letting those feeling back in and that pain back in.
2)I don't know how much I can talk about this one, but it will be something that I will be journaling about. When I was 14, I met a woman that I started babysitting for. I was just beginning to question my sexuality and was pretty sure that I was a lesbian, although I didn't have a name for it. I knew that I was attracted emotionally to woman more than me, especially woman teachers. I think there was probably some sexual attraction too. So, this woman that I met when I was 14, started what I know now to "groom" me. She paid a lot of attention to me and even though she was dating and sleeping with a man, she started to treat me differently than the other kids in her house. She was a foster mother and in addition to her one biological child, she had several foster children, some young, some teens. I always got special attention. I was attracted to her, I guess you could say I had a crush and was infatuated with her. She knew this and used this. I started to babysit for her and if she would be out late, I would spend the night. Sometimes, I would sleep on the pull out couch if she was bringing her boyfriend home, but if not, I shared her bed. At 15, she finally started to abuse me. At the time, I saw it as love and she really played that up. There is a lot more to this, such as bringing me into her relationship with this man she was involved with and "dumping me" off and on that left me with such grief, that to this day I don't know that I will ever be able to be heathy in a relationship. I feel tainted and dirty. And you can tell me that I was used and abused and that none of it was my fault and intellectually I know this, emotionally, it has left deep scars that I don't know will ever be able to heal from. It impacts who I am as a person, woman and lover to the core. There are too many "unsaids" that I don't want to make public, but this is just an overview. I was robbed of my adolesence. It dawned on me today, my oldest is 15, the same age as I was when the abuse started. It makes a lot of sense to me now, this psychic pain that I have been going through. I see so much of myself in her (my 15 year old) and I feel so strongly the need to protect her from all of the evils in the world. I know that it's true, that when your child is the age you were when you were abused, it tends to bring up all the feelings and hurts that occured when you were that age. I just never really thought about it until now. I have a lot of work to do. A lot of healing. I have been spending a lot of time trying to get out of my own skin. I can't even expain how it feels to be me right now. I feel as though I am that skinny, moody 15 year old all over again, and it hurts really badly. Sometimes it hurts to badly that I just want to leave and get away from everyone and everything. I feel as though I can't be the partner I should be and certainly not the mother my kids deserve. My brain feels so full of pain that I feel as though I am robbing everyone of myself. Including me. I walk around feeling so angry, I know it radiates off me. No wonder our house is a mess of human emotions just flying around. I certainly haven't been a good role model to either one of my children in teaching them how to manage their own emotions. Just look at their mother. This is all I can really say about this issue although the roots are deeply painful and this is just a skim off the top of what happened. This "relationship" went on for 10 years. It wasn't until my 15 year old was born that I realized that I was not going to raise her in this kind of environment. (My ex and I were exclusive for the last 6 years of our "relationship) How sad is that? I couldn't even leave a damaging relationship for myself, but I thank my lucky stars that I could for my child. To give her the chance to be raised by a parent that could model good parenting.
3)Being discrimated against. There is an issue that is going on in my church where I am being discriminated against because of my sexuality. It is draining on my soul. My church is my second home, one of the places that I feel safe and now that safety is being challenged. I have faith in God that this will work out and that the church will do what is right for them. I have been trying to pray a lot. Pray that God will give me the guidance I so deeply need right now. To do the right thing and know what the right thing is. To give me the patience I need to be a good mother and good partner and to give me the grace to be a better person overall.
4) Being disabled - This is probably the biggest current one right now. Still waiting to hear about SSD and still struggling financially. I said to Cheryl the other night that if people don't believe me, I would love for them to live in my body, just one day. To feel the pain that I feel, just for one day. To feel the humilation that I feel because I can't do the things that other people my age can do. I hate walking with a cane, but if I don't, then I run the chance of falling. I want to work. I miss it badly. Thinking about working makes me feel tired. But I feel as though I am letting my family down by not working. We have to go without so much. I know that I have written about this a million times, so I am not going to go through it again. Let's suffice it to say that it's something that I pray about every day. Asking God to please give me a body that doesn't betray me. Because this one does. For those of you who read me and deal with chronic pain, you know exactly what I mean.
If you've read this far, thank you. I feel drained now, but in a good way. I will be writing more privately about my abuse, but I hope telling as much of my story that I did will help anyone reading this that is either going through it or have been through it. Words are very powerful and used in the right way, helpful.
I really want to be happy again. I want to be pain free, both physically and psychically. I want to smile again and be a good role model to my children. I don't want them to see me fighting with my partner. I want them to see a healthy and wholesome relationship. I want to act with grace and dignity. I want to be the partner who gives something instead of always taking. I want to be the mother who can be there for her kids in all ways. I really, really just want to be a healthy and happy ME!
Wendy
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Updates...and more
Sorry to keep you all hanging but I have been waiting to hear back from the MD before I wrote anything. Still haven't heard back officially, but while we were there at his office he was pretty sure that Gillian doesn't have leukemia or any other form of cancer. She still needs to go for her colonoscopy to rule out colon cancer, but I am no longer worried about this. Whew. I do have to say that there is nothing quite like walking into a Hemotology outpatient clinic. The first thing that I saw was a little bald headed boy hooked up to his medication and my heart just sank. I just started to bargain with God saying, "Please, please don't let Gillian had leukemia or cancer, or, or, or..." and when the MD said he was 99.9% certain that she didn't, I actually felt guity along with the relief. How many parents didn't get that news and walked out of there overwhelmed and devistated? We did go for more blood work and we actually sat with the MD at his microscope and looked at Gillian's blood under the scope with him. She still has a high eosinophil count, probably due to her Ulcerative Colitis and she's still anemic, but they will follow her and try and figure out the anemia and keep an eye on the eosinophil count. She has a new diagnosis to add to her list.....Eosinophilia. Just basically a high eosinophila count.
I am continuing to sew. I made a halter top to go with the skirt below, but it still needs some tweaking. I bought some elastic thread to try my hand at shirring, so I will let you all know how that works out. I do have to admit that I haven't worked on "the" Easter dress. At which point does one throw in the towel? Well, too many people have helped me gain valuable expertise on this dress, so no throwing in the towel for me! I will tackle it again tomorrow. I also started working on a mystery quilt. I only had to go out and buy 1 yard (1/2 yard of 2 different fabrics) that I didn't already have. I must be building quite a stash as they say. I bought a purse pattern to use some of the fabric that I have that I don't want to sew clothing with and want to try my hand at that.
I had another exciting thing happen tonight, but I am not ready to share yet. All I can say is that there are some exciting things in store for me apparently. Stay tuned...
Wendy
I am continuing to sew. I made a halter top to go with the skirt below, but it still needs some tweaking. I bought some elastic thread to try my hand at shirring, so I will let you all know how that works out. I do have to admit that I haven't worked on "the" Easter dress. At which point does one throw in the towel? Well, too many people have helped me gain valuable expertise on this dress, so no throwing in the towel for me! I will tackle it again tomorrow. I also started working on a mystery quilt. I only had to go out and buy 1 yard (1/2 yard of 2 different fabrics) that I didn't already have. I must be building quite a stash as they say. I bought a purse pattern to use some of the fabric that I have that I don't want to sew clothing with and want to try my hand at that.
I had another exciting thing happen tonight, but I am not ready to share yet. All I can say is that there are some exciting things in store for me apparently. Stay tuned...
Wendy
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Why I haven't been online!
I have been working in this skirt!
While I love the colors, I think it's way to short. I haven't put the elastic in yet, as I am waiting for Katie to get home from school to measure her waist. I bought this pattern from
You Can Make This and the directions are excellent. The problem is that the length of the skirt comes from the top tier and I was afraid that one pattern would over power the skirt so I only cut it to what it said. I measured and remeasured, but they were accurate, so I think the next time I make this skirt, I will add 2 more tiers and get more length that way. The problem is the tiers are so tightly ruffled together that they bunch up and that takes away from the length. I think I will also add some cute ruffle accents next time too, now that I know how to put the skirt together! The bottom ruffle alone is almost 3 feet long before ruffling!
Which brings me to the magic of the ruffler foot! It's a special foot for your machine that creates ruffles and pleats so there is no more pulling strings and trying to get things just right. You can even go to the above mentioned web site and DL a free tutorial on how to use a ruffling foot. Came in very handy for me.
The other reason I haven't been online is that Gillian has been sick. She is severly anemic and had a really funky blood test result that could mean many things, one of them cancer so we are going to the hemotology dept at the local Children's Hospital today for an appointment there. If you are a praying person, please send prayers our way that this is something else and not cancer. Good thoughts, positive energy, etc would be gratefully accepted too. I am scared out of my mind!
So, how's that for an update? Sorry to keep you all hanging, but it's been a zoo and I feel like the monkey!
Now, back to the Easter Dress.....yes, you read that right. Maybe it will be ready for next Easter?
Wendy
While I love the colors, I think it's way to short. I haven't put the elastic in yet, as I am waiting for Katie to get home from school to measure her waist. I bought this pattern from
You Can Make This and the directions are excellent. The problem is that the length of the skirt comes from the top tier and I was afraid that one pattern would over power the skirt so I only cut it to what it said. I measured and remeasured, but they were accurate, so I think the next time I make this skirt, I will add 2 more tiers and get more length that way. The problem is the tiers are so tightly ruffled together that they bunch up and that takes away from the length. I think I will also add some cute ruffle accents next time too, now that I know how to put the skirt together! The bottom ruffle alone is almost 3 feet long before ruffling!
Which brings me to the magic of the ruffler foot! It's a special foot for your machine that creates ruffles and pleats so there is no more pulling strings and trying to get things just right. You can even go to the above mentioned web site and DL a free tutorial on how to use a ruffling foot. Came in very handy for me.
The other reason I haven't been online is that Gillian has been sick. She is severly anemic and had a really funky blood test result that could mean many things, one of them cancer so we are going to the hemotology dept at the local Children's Hospital today for an appointment there. If you are a praying person, please send prayers our way that this is something else and not cancer. Good thoughts, positive energy, etc would be gratefully accepted too. I am scared out of my mind!
So, how's that for an update? Sorry to keep you all hanging, but it's been a zoo and I feel like the monkey!
Now, back to the Easter Dress.....yes, you read that right. Maybe it will be ready for next Easter?
Wendy
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Procrastination
I am supposed to be working on Katie's Easter dress, but instead, I am finding all sorts of things I don't really have to do and doing them anyway. I got the collar on (with a lot of help from my MIL)and I have to trim the excess away and start the sleeves. I am not looking forward too it. I know what I have to do, I just don't know if I can do it. I can't do the spacial stuff, like sewing on the right side to right side and see it come out right. I think I like quilting much more, and don't ask me why it's so much easier to do that. Maybe because I actually pick patterns that I can do instead of something that is way too hard? Well, it looked easy and pretty on the package anyway!
On a good note, I won a prize from Fabric Bliss and am really excited. You see, I have all these grand plans in mind when it comes to clothes and yes, they do come out cute when they are finished. It's just getting them finished.
So, before I go and play an online game, let me close this out, get up from the computer and go to the sewing area and get that dress done! Keep your eye out for pictures!
Wendy
On a good note, I won a prize from Fabric Bliss and am really excited. You see, I have all these grand plans in mind when it comes to clothes and yes, they do come out cute when they are finished. It's just getting them finished.
So, before I go and play an online game, let me close this out, get up from the computer and go to the sewing area and get that dress done! Keep your eye out for pictures!
Wendy
Friday, February 29, 2008
The most AWESOMEST fabric on the net....
Come from Fabric Bliss ! I just got 4 more yards of some sumptous fabric and am waiting on a Euro order so that I can finish some great summer outfits for Katie. I know that some of you have asked where I find such great fabric and this is the place. I've never had an order messed up and I always love what I get. And if you are looking for the best price around, this is it.
So? What are you waiting for? Head on over and buy some fabric!
Wendy
So? What are you waiting for? Head on over and buy some fabric!
Wendy
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Happy Birthday Katie!
Although Katie wasn't feeling well, we went into school just to share snack with her friends and then came home to rest. After that, we took her for a day of beauty! She has always wanted to go to L*bby Lu's and so we fulfilled her wish. She wasn't feeling the best, but had a shake at J*hnny R*ocket's and then off we went to have the makeover. Grandma S came with us and that just made it extra special. She wore the shirt that a friend of ours made for her to match a pair of pants that we already had. As you can tell from the pictures, she definately was "princess for a day"! The only thing she didn't do was go through with getting her ears pierced (which I wasn't really disappointed with truth be told). Gillian was 5 when she got hers done and we told Katie that she could have hers done too. She got another W*bkinz from Grandma and some money to buy anther one! Pretty soon we won't be able to keep up with all these critters on the puter.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY "BABY"! I love you sweetheart. I can't believe 5 years ago yesterday I was hearing your first cries and nursing you for the first time. You are growing into such a sweet little girl. You have a heart of gold and are such a good friend. You care so much about people's feelings. You love school, are already adding and subtracting and learning to read. Everyday you say or do something that just makes me shake my head in wonder at how smart and cute you are. I look forward to another year of watching you grow. I love you!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY "BABY"! I love you sweetheart. I can't believe 5 years ago yesterday I was hearing your first cries and nursing you for the first time. You are growing into such a sweet little girl. You have a heart of gold and are such a good friend. You care so much about people's feelings. You love school, are already adding and subtracting and learning to read. Everyday you say or do something that just makes me shake my head in wonder at how smart and cute you are. I look forward to another year of watching you grow. I love you!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Now it's my computer
That died that is. Cheryl went out and bought me a new one, so I am in business again. But, with the dead computer went all my favorites which I am trying to restore, so if you would be so kind as to send me your blog links so I can add them to my favorites, I would greatly appreciate it. Please send them along to wendy6gill@aol.com I am going to try and see if I can get anything off the other computer before we have someone look at it and try and restore it. I can't seem to keep a computer for more than 2 years before they bite the dust.
Anyway, I don't have much energy to blog about anything else. I am still grieving pretty hard and don't have much to say right now.
I will be looking for your blog address's though....please do send them along as I am missing my friends and really want to check in with you all! Thanks
Wendy
Anyway, I don't have much energy to blog about anything else. I am still grieving pretty hard and don't have much to say right now.
I will be looking for your blog address's though....please do send them along as I am missing my friends and really want to check in with you all! Thanks
Wendy
Thursday, February 14, 2008
In Loving Memory
Of my Beloved Grandfather
Raymond R. Walters Sr.
February 13, 2008 Raymond R. Walters Sr., 83, of Baldwinsville, passed away Wednesday, February 13, 2008. Born in Syracuse, he worked as a supervisor for the Syracuse Housing Authority for many years. He was a member of the Elmwood Fish & Game Club. He en-joyed his summers fishing at his camp in Canada and his winters at his home in Steinhatchee, FL. He was a staff sergeant for the Army Air Corps during WWII and also served in the Air National Guard, Syracuse. Survivors include his wife, Thelma M. Walters of 61 years; two daughters, Patricia A. Walters, Sharon J. Walters; one son, Raymond R. (Nancy) Walters Jr.; two sisters, Virginia Hobson, Betty (Dick) Bassett; two brothers, Ronald, Robert (Lottie); 11 grandchildren; 16 great-grandchildren; and several nieces and nephews. Calling hours will be Sunday, February 17 from 2 to 4 p.m. at the Butler-Badman Funeral Home, Inc., 4504 W. Seneca Turnpike (Rt. 175), Syracuse. The funeral will be Monday, February 18 at 10 a.m. at the funeral home. Burial will follow at White Chapel Cemetery, DeWitt. Butler-Badman Funeral Home, Inc. ONONDAGA HILL
I couldn't even write this yesterday. Even something so expected is incredibly hard. I go from being numb, to sad, to numb again. I know that I have mentioned more than once that my grandfather was like a father to me. My father died when I was 10 and my grandfather has always been there for me. I miss him so much. My heart aches with how much I miss him already.
On Friday he was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia and it was grave. I was traveling to a children's museum with Cheryl and Katie, Gillian had just left to go out of town. When we got back, I raced up to the hospital only to find him sitting up eating! I breathed a huge sigh of relief when my cousin John said that he'd probably be released in a couple of days. But his poor body and lungs just couldn't take it anymore. He'd had a rough night Monday night and by Tuesday couldn't come off the CPAP machine. Discussions with my Uncle, Grandmother, my mother and Aunt has already been had about no DNR and no mask. On Tuesday around 3PM my sister called me to tell me that my mother was getting picked up to go up to the hospital to say her goodbyes. Not long after, my mother called me saying that Grandpa wanted us all up there. I went up there and got to say goodbye. I thanked him for everything he'd done for me and told him that I was so thankful to have such a wonderful grandfather. He said "I tried" and then told me that he was proud of me and who I had become" He told me to tell Cheryl, Gillian and Katie Jo that he loved them.
The hospital was wonderful. They brought us food and took such good care of him. They were compassionate and caring. After everyone got to the hospital and said their goodbye's, respitory therapy came in and took off the mask, much to his relief. They already had him on a morphone drip and he was comfortable. They changed him over to a regular mask just giving him oxygen and made him comfortable. Little by little everyone said goodbye and went home. I think for me that was the most painful part. Knowing it was the final goodbye. I cried as I went to pick Gillian up and when I got home, went to bed, waiting for the phone call. That phone call came at 6:45am. He died at 6:15AM with my Uncle and Grandmother by his side. He passed peacefully. Right now, I have so much pain inside, but as the days go on, I will be blogging about the wonderful stories I have about my grandfather. It's just too painful to do right now. Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. Especially my Grandmother who just lost her husband of 61 years and my Mother, Uncle and Aunt who lost their father and of course the rest of us grandchildren and great grandchildren who just lost one of the most precious people in our lives.
Wendy
Raymond R. Walters Sr.
February 13, 2008 Raymond R. Walters Sr., 83, of Baldwinsville, passed away Wednesday, February 13, 2008. Born in Syracuse, he worked as a supervisor for the Syracuse Housing Authority for many years. He was a member of the Elmwood Fish & Game Club. He en-joyed his summers fishing at his camp in Canada and his winters at his home in Steinhatchee, FL. He was a staff sergeant for the Army Air Corps during WWII and also served in the Air National Guard, Syracuse. Survivors include his wife, Thelma M. Walters of 61 years; two daughters, Patricia A. Walters, Sharon J. Walters; one son, Raymond R. (Nancy) Walters Jr.; two sisters, Virginia Hobson, Betty (Dick) Bassett; two brothers, Ronald, Robert (Lottie); 11 grandchildren; 16 great-grandchildren; and several nieces and nephews. Calling hours will be Sunday, February 17 from 2 to 4 p.m. at the Butler-Badman Funeral Home, Inc., 4504 W. Seneca Turnpike (Rt. 175), Syracuse. The funeral will be Monday, February 18 at 10 a.m. at the funeral home. Burial will follow at White Chapel Cemetery, DeWitt. Butler-Badman Funeral Home, Inc. ONONDAGA HILL
I couldn't even write this yesterday. Even something so expected is incredibly hard. I go from being numb, to sad, to numb again. I know that I have mentioned more than once that my grandfather was like a father to me. My father died when I was 10 and my grandfather has always been there for me. I miss him so much. My heart aches with how much I miss him already.
On Friday he was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia and it was grave. I was traveling to a children's museum with Cheryl and Katie, Gillian had just left to go out of town. When we got back, I raced up to the hospital only to find him sitting up eating! I breathed a huge sigh of relief when my cousin John said that he'd probably be released in a couple of days. But his poor body and lungs just couldn't take it anymore. He'd had a rough night Monday night and by Tuesday couldn't come off the CPAP machine. Discussions with my Uncle, Grandmother, my mother and Aunt has already been had about no DNR and no mask. On Tuesday around 3PM my sister called me to tell me that my mother was getting picked up to go up to the hospital to say her goodbyes. Not long after, my mother called me saying that Grandpa wanted us all up there. I went up there and got to say goodbye. I thanked him for everything he'd done for me and told him that I was so thankful to have such a wonderful grandfather. He said "I tried" and then told me that he was proud of me and who I had become" He told me to tell Cheryl, Gillian and Katie Jo that he loved them.
The hospital was wonderful. They brought us food and took such good care of him. They were compassionate and caring. After everyone got to the hospital and said their goodbye's, respitory therapy came in and took off the mask, much to his relief. They already had him on a morphone drip and he was comfortable. They changed him over to a regular mask just giving him oxygen and made him comfortable. Little by little everyone said goodbye and went home. I think for me that was the most painful part. Knowing it was the final goodbye. I cried as I went to pick Gillian up and when I got home, went to bed, waiting for the phone call. That phone call came at 6:45am. He died at 6:15AM with my Uncle and Grandmother by his side. He passed peacefully. Right now, I have so much pain inside, but as the days go on, I will be blogging about the wonderful stories I have about my grandfather. It's just too painful to do right now. Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. Especially my Grandmother who just lost her husband of 61 years and my Mother, Uncle and Aunt who lost their father and of course the rest of us grandchildren and great grandchildren who just lost one of the most precious people in our lives.
Wendy
Monday, February 11, 2008
Medical woes
I try really hard not to talk a whole lot about medical stuff here, but it's really the only place I have to talk about it. I can't even remember if I mentioned that I spent 5 days in the hospital the week before last with no feeling in my right leg. It just went. It was the scariest thing I have ever experienced. My back surgeon (who did my laminectomy and fusion) says that although there is some imflamation in L5, that didn't cause the lack of feeling. Apparently it doesn't matter that I have had pain in this leg since the surgery. It's not coming from his surgery! So, they sent the neurologist in to see me and they did an MRI of the back, the brain and upper neck. Nothing. I had to be doped up pretty good to get into that machine, but it really was OK. I guess I am just getting more and more used to things that I wasn't able to tolerate before. The neurologist is ruling out MS by getting all my previous records, but there doesn't seem to be any findings of that.
Where is Dr. House when you need him? I really need someone to figure out why I never really recovered from this back surgery. I do have the feeling back in my leg, but there is some permanent loss and I can tell because of the pressure foot of the sewing machine. Not enough to impede my driving though right now. I had PT coming out 3 days a week and I keep doing my exercises faithfully, because when they were talking about seeing if my insurance would cover a wheelchair, well, I just wanted to die. At least that isn't something that I need to worry about now.
I do think it was the babysitting that did me in. I guess I really can't work. It's very difficult for me to accept. I need to be productive. I need to be someone again. Not just the pieces that I feel I have become.
Where is Dr. House when you need him? I really need someone to figure out why I never really recovered from this back surgery. I do have the feeling back in my leg, but there is some permanent loss and I can tell because of the pressure foot of the sewing machine. Not enough to impede my driving though right now. I had PT coming out 3 days a week and I keep doing my exercises faithfully, because when they were talking about seeing if my insurance would cover a wheelchair, well, I just wanted to die. At least that isn't something that I need to worry about now.
I do think it was the babysitting that did me in. I guess I really can't work. It's very difficult for me to accept. I need to be productive. I need to be someone again. Not just the pieces that I feel I have become.
Another Kady Dud creation
Catchy eh? I have decided to call the clothes that I make Kady Duds! I thought it sounded cute and well since they are for Katie it just made sense. Anyway, here is the latest that I have made. I am starting the Easter dress today...while making a quilt in the process! Enjoy!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Sorry....
I really meant to be better about blogging. Lots of things going on right now! Katie is getting over bronchitis. Gillian should be on her way home from NYC right now and I suspect she will be a bear when she gets here because she hasn't had much sleep. I can't wait to see her though. I missed her while she was gone!
And my grandpa. He's sick again. Really sick. I don't know much right now about whether he'll pull through, but he's got pneumonia and he's in the hospital and the DNR's have been signed. So, it's in his and His hands right now. Watching him decline like this has been hell. I want to remember the Grandpa who was strong and vibrant. Not the one wasting away and gasping for breath.
And there is church. Lots of stuff there to keep me busy, but nothing I can talk publically about right now. When it's resolved, you'll hear.
I did finish another twirl skirt for Katie and am about to go and sew the shirt for it. It's going to be a cute one. Then I have to get to work on the Easter dress. I am scared to do that one, and I suspect that MIL will be getting a lot of calls for help! I am also in the middle of making a quilt for Katie's bed too. Then I will get a start on Gillian's quilt.
Oh and Feebay! Anyone hear about what is happening over there? Needless to say I am done selling with them. Unless they change their minds about the things they are implementing, I am done with them too. Which brings up the question....where will I sell my kids clothing to make money to buy the next batch? Looks like I will be doing a lot of sewing huh? Too bad for them!
And my grandpa. He's sick again. Really sick. I don't know much right now about whether he'll pull through, but he's got pneumonia and he's in the hospital and the DNR's have been signed. So, it's in his and His hands right now. Watching him decline like this has been hell. I want to remember the Grandpa who was strong and vibrant. Not the one wasting away and gasping for breath.
And there is church. Lots of stuff there to keep me busy, but nothing I can talk publically about right now. When it's resolved, you'll hear.
I did finish another twirl skirt for Katie and am about to go and sew the shirt for it. It's going to be a cute one. Then I have to get to work on the Easter dress. I am scared to do that one, and I suspect that MIL will be getting a lot of calls for help! I am also in the middle of making a quilt for Katie's bed too. Then I will get a start on Gillian's quilt.
Oh and Feebay! Anyone hear about what is happening over there? Needless to say I am done selling with them. Unless they change their minds about the things they are implementing, I am done with them too. Which brings up the question....where will I sell my kids clothing to make money to buy the next batch? Looks like I will be doing a lot of sewing huh? Too bad for them!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Is this what hell feels like?
Since I last reported in I have had a whirlwind time. I was admitted into the hospital on Wednesday last week and was released on Sunday. At least I think those were the days. On Tuesday night I couldn't feel my leg and on Wednesday I was in screaming pain in my back. I had started babysitting on Monday and am pretty sure that all the lifting and carrying of a 12 pound baby did me in. And it's the leg that I have had trouble with since my back operation. Now the ortho who did my surgery swears there is nothing showing that this leg issue has anything to do with the back and that it's neurological. But all the neuro tests they have run show nothing. Where is House when you need him huh?
So, I have been mighty depressed over goings on in the house and now my increased disability. Which by the way we still have no date to go before the judge. I am so tired of this. I was hoping to pick up some extra cash to pay off the sewing machine I bought to start making Katie's clothes! HA! Nothing like life to bite one in the ass.
Starting tomorrow, I am sitting at that Machine and going to start creating. I am not going to sink into depression and I am going to make some of the most fabulous clothes you've ever seen. I refuse to let depression get the better of me!
My church family, internet family and friends (who are like family) have been wonderful. My poor mother is probably afraid to answer the phone lest she have a crying daughter on the other line, but she does and she listens and sometimes, that is all I need.
I am still going to meetings at church, and although I am not driving yet, people have been wonderful about driving me around.
So, keep your eyes open for more cute clothes coming your way! I am going to sew and it's going to be great!
Wendy
So, I have been mighty depressed over goings on in the house and now my increased disability. Which by the way we still have no date to go before the judge. I am so tired of this. I was hoping to pick up some extra cash to pay off the sewing machine I bought to start making Katie's clothes! HA! Nothing like life to bite one in the ass.
Starting tomorrow, I am sitting at that Machine and going to start creating. I am not going to sink into depression and I am going to make some of the most fabulous clothes you've ever seen. I refuse to let depression get the better of me!
My church family, internet family and friends (who are like family) have been wonderful. My poor mother is probably afraid to answer the phone lest she have a crying daughter on the other line, but she does and she listens and sometimes, that is all I need.
I am still going to meetings at church, and although I am not driving yet, people have been wonderful about driving me around.
So, keep your eyes open for more cute clothes coming your way! I am going to sew and it's going to be great!
Wendy
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Everyone's E-bay selling
Sung to the tune, everyone's Kung Foo Fighting.....and I am too. This is your chance if you want to score some really nice summer (and a few winter items too) at a great price. I am getting ready to list a ton of Hanna Andersson Play all Day sets (size 110), some Lilly Pulitzer summer dresses (size 6), a Biscotti Tulle Skirt (size 6) and some Mulberribush (also size 6). The last 2 are new with tags still on. There will probably be some Gymboree thrown in and maybe a little Naartjie to round things out. I am still going through all the summer stuff from last year to see what won't fit and what will! Keep checking back if you don't see something you like now, chances are you will tomorrow. My e-bay ID is gandksmom1967 Feel free to ask me any questions!
So, besides being busy listing (I am only doing it twice a year now if I can help it) I also am trying to start Katie's Easter dress. I decided that I can make those cute outfits that I find and also have the satisfaction that I made it! I am also in the middle of making her quilt. Then I have Gillian's quilt to start. I just wish that I could make her clothes too, but what 15 year old wants her mother to make her clothes?
Still lots of stress in the house, trying to get through it. Loving thoughts for everyone in the house is greatly appreciated. Thanks and look forward to some pics of the Easter dress sooon!
Wendy
So, besides being busy listing (I am only doing it twice a year now if I can help it) I also am trying to start Katie's Easter dress. I decided that I can make those cute outfits that I find and also have the satisfaction that I made it! I am also in the middle of making her quilt. Then I have Gillian's quilt to start. I just wish that I could make her clothes too, but what 15 year old wants her mother to make her clothes?
Still lots of stress in the house, trying to get through it. Loving thoughts for everyone in the house is greatly appreciated. Thanks and look forward to some pics of the Easter dress sooon!
Wendy
Thursday, January 17, 2008
As promised, Matilda Jane Clothes!
As promised, the gifts that Denise over at Matilda Jane Clothing sent us! The first outfit is a cute little knot dress with flare leg leggings that are just too cute!
And here she is sporting a very adorable furry little jacket that actually goes with another outfit that we have. When she wears it again, I will take more pics.
Thank you again Denise! If you are interested in these incredibly cute clothes, please visit Denise's site at the above link and tell her I sent you! Take some time to read her blog, since it's quite facinating. I never imagined all the work that goes into starting up a new business! Also, she carries some great women's clothes too! Thank you again Denise, from the bottom of our hearts! We love you and MJC!
Wendy (and Katie)
And here she is sporting a very adorable furry little jacket that actually goes with another outfit that we have. When she wears it again, I will take more pics.
Thank you again Denise! If you are interested in these incredibly cute clothes, please visit Denise's site at the above link and tell her I sent you! Take some time to read her blog, since it's quite facinating. I never imagined all the work that goes into starting up a new business! Also, she carries some great women's clothes too! Thank you again Denise, from the bottom of our hearts! We love you and MJC!
Wendy (and Katie)
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Creating.....
I know that I started a new blog for this kind of thing, and it will find it's way over there too, but here is the skirt I made for Katie along with my first try at appliquing. There are mistakes, and I have learned a lot, but it's still pretty cute I think! The last dress is the newest from Hanna Andersson for Spring! I was able to get it because an outfit that I bought a while ago ran and they gave me a nice credit. I didn't think I would like it at first, but it really looks cute on!
And in my next post....I was the lucky recipient of Denise, the brain child of Matilda Jane Clothing! She handed out some random acts of kindness and sent Katie some beautiful clothes. I will post those pictures here and over at the other site I have for all my sewing and kids clothes passions! Anyway, off to start work on my next creation!
Wendy
And in my next post....I was the lucky recipient of Denise, the brain child of Matilda Jane Clothing! She handed out some random acts of kindness and sent Katie some beautiful clothes. I will post those pictures here and over at the other site I have for all my sewing and kids clothes passions! Anyway, off to start work on my next creation!
Wendy
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Starting New Years with a BANG!
I don't really talk much here about stuff going on at home, but I am just so tired of it all. I really am. Yesterday starts with Gillian (15) telling me all the ways that I have failed as a parent, how she hates living here and could she please go and live somewhere else. There is a run away shelter, but I would hate for her to go there. And I don't want to take her there, because I feel as though the message she would be getting from me is that I don't want her here. Which is not true. I love her, but her actions and attitude are really out of control. She told me yesterday that she hates her sister, which I have pretty much known since she was born.
I feel as though I am at the bottom of this big hole. I feel like everyone in my family is making me choose between each other. I feel as though it would just be better if I left. But of course I can't do that. I have to stay. Because responsible people just don't leave their families. And I do love them. All of them. But I am so tired. So tired of dealing with it. Tired of dealing with kids who think they know everything, tired of fighting with my partner over everything. It feels like all of the joy in my life has gone away. This hole I am in is BIG and I don't see a ladder, rope or anything else to help me climb out of it. I feel stuck. I am mad. I am sad. I am just a big puddle of angrysadmad feelings and I don't know what to do with them.
Yes, we are all in couseling. I am working on issues. But I don't think it's enough and I don't think we have enough time before a big implosion happens.
I guess it's good I got out of bed today. Because I have to be responsible right? I hate responsible. I wish I could just lay in bed all day and cry and not be responsible. But I can't do that can I? Darn.
UPDATE: I have decided to start a blog dealing with my depression. I want to keep this one about my family and the good things in life. If you are interested in reading about my journey through depression, let me know and I will give you the link.
I feel as though I am at the bottom of this big hole. I feel like everyone in my family is making me choose between each other. I feel as though it would just be better if I left. But of course I can't do that. I have to stay. Because responsible people just don't leave their families. And I do love them. All of them. But I am so tired. So tired of dealing with it. Tired of dealing with kids who think they know everything, tired of fighting with my partner over everything. It feels like all of the joy in my life has gone away. This hole I am in is BIG and I don't see a ladder, rope or anything else to help me climb out of it. I feel stuck. I am mad. I am sad. I am just a big puddle of angrysadmad feelings and I don't know what to do with them.
Yes, we are all in couseling. I am working on issues. But I don't think it's enough and I don't think we have enough time before a big implosion happens.
I guess it's good I got out of bed today. Because I have to be responsible right? I hate responsible. I wish I could just lay in bed all day and cry and not be responsible. But I can't do that can I? Darn.
UPDATE: I have decided to start a blog dealing with my depression. I want to keep this one about my family and the good things in life. If you are interested in reading about my journey through depression, let me know and I will give you the link.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Good bye 2007, Welcome 2008!
Gillian and her mom!
Visting with our friends from Israel - Susan and Noa and their children too!
Learning how to ride my new bike (thank you Mommy's IFAP Loopie friends) with Grandma and Mama
Happy 84th Birthday Grandpa
Happy Easter!
The quilt I made for Grandpa!
My cousin and I!
Merry Christmas!
Lots of pics didn't make the cut, but as I get them ready for the computer, I will add them. I realized that I never uploaded the ones from my 40th birthday! They will eventually make their way over here! I have lots of Katie, a few of the camera shy Gillian and fewer of Cheryl and virtually none of me! LOL! Funny how that happens!
Happy New Year everyone!
Wendy
Visting with our friends from Israel - Susan and Noa and their children too!
Learning how to ride my new bike (thank you Mommy's IFAP Loopie friends) with Grandma and Mama
Happy 84th Birthday Grandpa
Happy Easter!
The quilt I made for Grandpa!
My cousin and I!
Merry Christmas!
Lots of pics didn't make the cut, but as I get them ready for the computer, I will add them. I realized that I never uploaded the ones from my 40th birthday! They will eventually make their way over here! I have lots of Katie, a few of the camera shy Gillian and fewer of Cheryl and virtually none of me! LOL! Funny how that happens!
Happy New Year everyone!
Wendy
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Tee Hee
I just went to look and see who has been reading me and some of the inclicks are too funny! One person found me by googling "Butches and Nursing"! No clue how they got to my page but it wasn't about any kind of discourse on my part about butches and nursing. But if you are reading, I am glad that you found me! I didn't realize that there were so many of you reading but not letting me know you dropped by! Hey, let me know when you drop by again would ya? I'll come and visit you if you do!
Wendy
Wendy
Life.....
::Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: " I am with you kid. Let's go"! ::
By Maya Angelou
I know it's not the New Year and I can't promise wisdom everytime I write, but I thought I would start out the after Christmas rush with some words of wisdom from some of my favorite authors!
No more waiting around and waiting for life to happen here! I am ready to go! It's a New Year soon with a new start. And new starts can only mean that we have another chance to get it right. With whomever we need to get it right with.
Wendy
By Maya Angelou
I know it's not the New Year and I can't promise wisdom everytime I write, but I thought I would start out the after Christmas rush with some words of wisdom from some of my favorite authors!
No more waiting around and waiting for life to happen here! I am ready to go! It's a New Year soon with a new start. And new starts can only mean that we have another chance to get it right. With whomever we need to get it right with.
Wendy
Sunday, December 23, 2007
The year 2007 in review!
Well, the year 2007 has been a long one. I will try and recap for all of you who love to know how we are doing.
Cheryl - Continues to work her butt off at Upstate to put a roof over our heads, food on the table and keep us all in clothes. She has been there over 10 years now and recently did a project that got national attention at the Cytotech Conference in Texas! I am so proud of my sweetie! She continues to teach at the medical school and contines to be the best partner and parent that I could ever imagine. Thank you sweetheart for taking such good care of our family!
Gillian - Is 15 and has been working hard in school and her grades have reflected this. She is in the 10th grade and makes high honor every semester and is on track to graduate with her class in 2010. Some of you know that she has struggled with learning disabilities and at first we thought it might take her an extra year. She is one smart girl and has moved herself right along. She continues to be pretty proficient in sign language and will be taking classes in the new year to become a certified sign language interpreter. She is taking a break from Karate right now to focus on school extra curricular activities, like trying out for the spring musical! We can't wait! Gillian has lots of good friends and they all get together to work on various causes. She is the head of her GSA and works really hard on keeping that group active!
Katie - will be 5 in 2008! Where oh where has my baby gone? Katie is in the 4 year old program in our school districts pre-K and get's to take the bus everyday to school. She loves taking the bus and loves going to school. She has already mastered simple addition and has begun reading already. She can read some simple books and has recently discovered the American Girls series! She is my girly girl all the way through. She has decided to be an Art teacher when she grows up and practices by doing Arts and Crafts everyday. She loves to draw, paint, color, etc. She has been doing ballet and had her first recital in June. I have to admit that I cried seeing her up on stage! She continues with ballet and recently started Cheerleading too! Her first game will be in January.
Wendy - Well, I had back surgery (laminectomy and spinal fusion on 2 levels) in hopes to solve my severe back pain. Unfortunately, things haven't gone as planned and I continue to have lots of pain. I had to give up the part time job that I was working because I haven't been able to sit more than 2 or 3 minutes at a time. I have been selling on e-bay and making some money doing that as well as learning to sew. It's a talent that I never knew that I had. So far I have been making quilts and clothes for Katie. My plan for 2008 is to continue to make custom outfits not just for the girls but to sell. I will continue to quilt also. I go into Katie's class on Friday's to help out when I can. I have been volunteering at church and am grateful to my church family for the love and acceptance they have showered on our family. I belong to several women's groups there and continue to learn about God's love through book groups and other groups the church offers. I hope to learn more about sewing this year and really get some cute outfits and quilts out for folks to see! As you can tell, I am quite excited about this!
I hope that all of you who read me have a wonderful New Year. I do believe that 2008will be a great one!
Wendy
Cheryl - Continues to work her butt off at Upstate to put a roof over our heads, food on the table and keep us all in clothes. She has been there over 10 years now and recently did a project that got national attention at the Cytotech Conference in Texas! I am so proud of my sweetie! She continues to teach at the medical school and contines to be the best partner and parent that I could ever imagine. Thank you sweetheart for taking such good care of our family!
Gillian - Is 15 and has been working hard in school and her grades have reflected this. She is in the 10th grade and makes high honor every semester and is on track to graduate with her class in 2010. Some of you know that she has struggled with learning disabilities and at first we thought it might take her an extra year. She is one smart girl and has moved herself right along. She continues to be pretty proficient in sign language and will be taking classes in the new year to become a certified sign language interpreter. She is taking a break from Karate right now to focus on school extra curricular activities, like trying out for the spring musical! We can't wait! Gillian has lots of good friends and they all get together to work on various causes. She is the head of her GSA and works really hard on keeping that group active!
Katie - will be 5 in 2008! Where oh where has my baby gone? Katie is in the 4 year old program in our school districts pre-K and get's to take the bus everyday to school. She loves taking the bus and loves going to school. She has already mastered simple addition and has begun reading already. She can read some simple books and has recently discovered the American Girls series! She is my girly girl all the way through. She has decided to be an Art teacher when she grows up and practices by doing Arts and Crafts everyday. She loves to draw, paint, color, etc. She has been doing ballet and had her first recital in June. I have to admit that I cried seeing her up on stage! She continues with ballet and recently started Cheerleading too! Her first game will be in January.
Wendy - Well, I had back surgery (laminectomy and spinal fusion on 2 levels) in hopes to solve my severe back pain. Unfortunately, things haven't gone as planned and I continue to have lots of pain. I had to give up the part time job that I was working because I haven't been able to sit more than 2 or 3 minutes at a time. I have been selling on e-bay and making some money doing that as well as learning to sew. It's a talent that I never knew that I had. So far I have been making quilts and clothes for Katie. My plan for 2008 is to continue to make custom outfits not just for the girls but to sell. I will continue to quilt also. I go into Katie's class on Friday's to help out when I can. I have been volunteering at church and am grateful to my church family for the love and acceptance they have showered on our family. I belong to several women's groups there and continue to learn about God's love through book groups and other groups the church offers. I hope to learn more about sewing this year and really get some cute outfits and quilts out for folks to see! As you can tell, I am quite excited about this!
I hope that all of you who read me have a wonderful New Year. I do believe that 2008will be a great one!
Wendy
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Happy Holiday's From US to YOU
I wanted to pop in for a minute to wish everyone a Happy Holiday! It's been a long couple of weeks, these past few ones. I will try and bring everyone up to date and them thrill you all with pictures we had taken that came out great!
First off - Katie! School is going well and she really loves being in the 4 year old class. She was letter expert for the letter S the week before last and had to bring in some things that start with S. She also got to read a book to her class! I went in to listen to her read...what a treat! My baby, reading all by herself to her classmates! She got to talk about S, draw the letter S and teach her friends about the letter S. Last week she was friend of the week and it was all about Katie. She got to talk about her family, and although there were a couple of children who kept saying that Katie has a Daddy in her family, she very proudly told them that she had a MAMA! And I am happy to say that there wasn't anyone who said "You can't have 2 Mommies"! She got to wear a crown all week and we brought a special snack in one day. We being myself and Grandma Schmidt! Grandma got to listen to her read also! It was a very exciting week, ending with Thursday being a PJ party! Katie was thrilled to wear her PJ's to school. Outside of school, it was also busy with our regular activities, but it was also Cheryl's birthday and Cheryl asked her mother for tickets for us all to go see the Nutcracker Ballet. Given that Katie is taking ballet, we thought she would really enjoy it. Instead she played lap bingo between me, Grandma and Cheryl. She was more interested in knowing when it was going to be over, than actually watching the Ballet. But we adults and Gillian liked it a lot! Katie and I also attended a Teddy Bear Tea that same weekend which turned out to be one for the baby book! She got all dressed up and it was soooo fancy. It was just her and I and we were dressed to the nines as were all the other little girls. Mama even tied a fancy bow onto Fairy of the Dust(Katie's favorite bear) and everything. Well, have I ever mentioned that Katie is afraid of big, dressed up characters? Yep, you guessed it! We spent the entire time we were there with her screaming and running away from the bear. I have never seen her so scared in my life. They finally assigned a security guard to us, hid us in a corner so we could eat and then escorted us out "the secret tunnel" and we left ahead of everyone else to have our own Teddy Bear Parade over to the museum where we saw the festival of tree's. All the while I was frantically trying to get ahold of Cheryl to come back and get us because she dropped us off and ran errands. After we got to the museum, we saw the tree's and Cheryl called and I said, "please, please come and get us!". So, she did and we didn't see that bear again I am glad to say!
It was this same day that we had out portraits scheduled. We get to JC*enney and were told that they were running 30 minutes behind! Greeeeeaaaat! I do have to say that both girls were great in waiting and I was so proud of them. That place was a mad house though. I will think twice about getting pics done there again.
Gillian - Is doing great in school. I got a call the other day from her English teacher asking permission to move her up to a higher English class! Hooray! I am so proud of her. She is working so hard to overcome these learning disabilities! Now, if she could put some effort into common sense, we'd be all set. We are having some troubles, that I am not going into here for privacy reasons, but suffice it to say, raising a teen is so hard. The biggest news is that Gillian decided to stop doing karate for now. There are a lot of reasons both that include the Dojo she is at and personal, but she is missing out on so much high school life for karate and is wanting to move in other directions. She is going to be taking sign language classes in January (we think) that will get her ready to take interpreters classes and then work on being a licensed interpreter. Then she can get hired to interpret at different functions and get paid. She also wants to try out for the Spring Musical at school and is looking forward to that. Cycling for her black belt the past 9 months has made it impossible for her to do anything but karate. So, we just keep her moving! She is planning to go to the cotillion this weekend, so be on the lookout for pictures of that!
Cheryl - I wrote a huge post on Monday about Cheryl's birthday that apparantly Blogger ate! I apologize hun! My love turned ** on Monday! It also decided to storm that day so we had a very small party here at home and I made her her favorite dinner - Veal Marsala and her Mom made her her favorite Peanut Butter Pie! Yummy! I am so lucky to have been able to spend the past 8+ years with this woman. I know it hasn't always been easy, especially raising a highly sprited teen, but I do believe that God led us to each other for a reason and I am so very thankful that He did. I love going to bed next to you every night and waking up next to you the next morning makes life so much easier to face! So, thank you for another year love! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY you old lady you!
Finally - ME! I have been in a pretty solid funk lately. I have been reading a lot. Right now, I am reading The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold, but am also in the middle of the now famous, Eat, Pray, Love (can't remember the author and the book is upstairs). I also recently The Wednesday Letters (again, can't remember the author offhand) and I also highly recommend this book. So, as I tend to do, I immerse myself in reading to escape and I have been pretty successful in doing this. Of course that comes with a cost, and that is I haven't been quilting or doing other things that need to get done...AKA SHOPPING! Thankfully Cheryl has picked up the shopping end of this so there will be a Santa Virgina! I am going to quilt tomorrow when Katie is at school. I also have some fabric that I want to make a skirt for Katie out of. I would like to make something for Gillian, but am at a loss as to what to make. For those of you who sew, would you throw me some idea's on what to make a 15 year old who prefers mens/boys clothes? I am thinking of getting some flannel for her and making up a bunch of different pillow cases for her bed. Maybe even make some pillows out of left over fabric that I have from my quilt. We'll see.
So, that brings you all up to date. And without further ado....PICTURES!
First off - Katie! School is going well and she really loves being in the 4 year old class. She was letter expert for the letter S the week before last and had to bring in some things that start with S. She also got to read a book to her class! I went in to listen to her read...what a treat! My baby, reading all by herself to her classmates! She got to talk about S, draw the letter S and teach her friends about the letter S. Last week she was friend of the week and it was all about Katie. She got to talk about her family, and although there were a couple of children who kept saying that Katie has a Daddy in her family, she very proudly told them that she had a MAMA! And I am happy to say that there wasn't anyone who said "You can't have 2 Mommies"! She got to wear a crown all week and we brought a special snack in one day. We being myself and Grandma Schmidt! Grandma got to listen to her read also! It was a very exciting week, ending with Thursday being a PJ party! Katie was thrilled to wear her PJ's to school. Outside of school, it was also busy with our regular activities, but it was also Cheryl's birthday and Cheryl asked her mother for tickets for us all to go see the Nutcracker Ballet. Given that Katie is taking ballet, we thought she would really enjoy it. Instead she played lap bingo between me, Grandma and Cheryl. She was more interested in knowing when it was going to be over, than actually watching the Ballet. But we adults and Gillian liked it a lot! Katie and I also attended a Teddy Bear Tea that same weekend which turned out to be one for the baby book! She got all dressed up and it was soooo fancy. It was just her and I and we were dressed to the nines as were all the other little girls. Mama even tied a fancy bow onto Fairy of the Dust(Katie's favorite bear) and everything. Well, have I ever mentioned that Katie is afraid of big, dressed up characters? Yep, you guessed it! We spent the entire time we were there with her screaming and running away from the bear. I have never seen her so scared in my life. They finally assigned a security guard to us, hid us in a corner so we could eat and then escorted us out "the secret tunnel" and we left ahead of everyone else to have our own Teddy Bear Parade over to the museum where we saw the festival of tree's. All the while I was frantically trying to get ahold of Cheryl to come back and get us because she dropped us off and ran errands. After we got to the museum, we saw the tree's and Cheryl called and I said, "please, please come and get us!". So, she did and we didn't see that bear again I am glad to say!
It was this same day that we had out portraits scheduled. We get to JC*enney and were told that they were running 30 minutes behind! Greeeeeaaaat! I do have to say that both girls were great in waiting and I was so proud of them. That place was a mad house though. I will think twice about getting pics done there again.
Gillian - Is doing great in school. I got a call the other day from her English teacher asking permission to move her up to a higher English class! Hooray! I am so proud of her. She is working so hard to overcome these learning disabilities! Now, if she could put some effort into common sense, we'd be all set. We are having some troubles, that I am not going into here for privacy reasons, but suffice it to say, raising a teen is so hard. The biggest news is that Gillian decided to stop doing karate for now. There are a lot of reasons both that include the Dojo she is at and personal, but she is missing out on so much high school life for karate and is wanting to move in other directions. She is going to be taking sign language classes in January (we think) that will get her ready to take interpreters classes and then work on being a licensed interpreter. Then she can get hired to interpret at different functions and get paid. She also wants to try out for the Spring Musical at school and is looking forward to that. Cycling for her black belt the past 9 months has made it impossible for her to do anything but karate. So, we just keep her moving! She is planning to go to the cotillion this weekend, so be on the lookout for pictures of that!
Cheryl - I wrote a huge post on Monday about Cheryl's birthday that apparantly Blogger ate! I apologize hun! My love turned ** on Monday! It also decided to storm that day so we had a very small party here at home and I made her her favorite dinner - Veal Marsala and her Mom made her her favorite Peanut Butter Pie! Yummy! I am so lucky to have been able to spend the past 8+ years with this woman. I know it hasn't always been easy, especially raising a highly sprited teen, but I do believe that God led us to each other for a reason and I am so very thankful that He did. I love going to bed next to you every night and waking up next to you the next morning makes life so much easier to face! So, thank you for another year love! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY you old lady you!
Finally - ME! I have been in a pretty solid funk lately. I have been reading a lot. Right now, I am reading The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold, but am also in the middle of the now famous, Eat, Pray, Love (can't remember the author and the book is upstairs). I also recently The Wednesday Letters (again, can't remember the author offhand) and I also highly recommend this book. So, as I tend to do, I immerse myself in reading to escape and I have been pretty successful in doing this. Of course that comes with a cost, and that is I haven't been quilting or doing other things that need to get done...AKA SHOPPING! Thankfully Cheryl has picked up the shopping end of this so there will be a Santa Virgina! I am going to quilt tomorrow when Katie is at school. I also have some fabric that I want to make a skirt for Katie out of. I would like to make something for Gillian, but am at a loss as to what to make. For those of you who sew, would you throw me some idea's on what to make a 15 year old who prefers mens/boys clothes? I am thinking of getting some flannel for her and making up a bunch of different pillow cases for her bed. Maybe even make some pillows out of left over fabric that I have from my quilt. We'll see.
So, that brings you all up to date. And without further ado....PICTURES!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
From my Wish Filler!
On one of the boards I am on, we all got to make 5 wishes and someone picked this wish I made to fill for me!
I don't know who my wish filler is, but I do know who she got to make the outfit for me! You can reach her and see her work at SurferMomKelly
I am just over the moon and can't wait to get professional pics done! I hear there is some matching jewlery coming and then we'll head off to the photo studio and we'll be sitting on Santa's lap with this outfit too! Thank you again Wish Filler, whoever you are! And thank you to Kelly and her mom for such beautiful work!
Wendy
I don't know who my wish filler is, but I do know who she got to make the outfit for me! You can reach her and see her work at SurferMomKelly
I am just over the moon and can't wait to get professional pics done! I hear there is some matching jewlery coming and then we'll head off to the photo studio and we'll be sitting on Santa's lap with this outfit too! Thank you again Wish Filler, whoever you are! And thank you to Kelly and her mom for such beautiful work!
Wendy
Saturday, November 17, 2007
The good with the bad.....
Hoooy Boy! It's been a week around here. Some good news....I managed to snag a pretty decent sewing machine from a fellow E. Side Mom (name of my MOMS group) for $10 so I can keep on sewing. Couple that with the GC to JoAnne's and a local quilt shop that I got for my birthday and I think I have just enough money to get what I need to finish the quilt for my Grandfather for Christmas and get the supplies I need to make Katie another twirl skirt out of the most delicious fabric that I have had hanging around forever. I am happy. Also on the happy note, on one of the boards I belong to, they do a Secret Santa like thing. I got to fill out a wish list of 5 things that I wanted and I also get to pick someone's list of 5 things they want! Well, one of the things that I wanted was a custom made Christmas outfit for Katie (since I had one for Gillian at around this age and had fab portraits done with it). Someone picked my wish list and granted this wish! I am over the moon. And I have had so much fun filling my wish listers wishes too! Can't wait to send it out!
On the bad end, our beloved cat Chaz is ending his time here on earth. We woke up to him being very weak and hardly able to walk this morning. After lots of tears and talking about death with Katie, Cheryl took him to the vet who agreed that he is in kidney failure and as a last stop measure, gave him a shot of something to jump start his kidneys and maybe save him for a few more months. We have to take him back on Wednesday, and we'll know if this is working. If not, well then you get the idea. Please say some prayers for our little kitty man Chaz. He is/was Cheryl's cat before she met me, but as all cats do, he's wormed his way into all of our hearts and it's heartbreaking to see him so weak and fragile. And it breaks my heart to see my wife so sad as well as my daughter. She is taking this hard. She keeps telling us that if Chaz dies we'll have to go out and get another yellow cat and name him Chaz. I guess that is her way of dealing with death eh?
So, the good with the bad. Winter has struck here full force. We woke up to about 3" of snow on the ground this morning. YUCK! We all know how much I love snow.
Talk with you all later....
Wendy
On the bad end, our beloved cat Chaz is ending his time here on earth. We woke up to him being very weak and hardly able to walk this morning. After lots of tears and talking about death with Katie, Cheryl took him to the vet who agreed that he is in kidney failure and as a last stop measure, gave him a shot of something to jump start his kidneys and maybe save him for a few more months. We have to take him back on Wednesday, and we'll know if this is working. If not, well then you get the idea. Please say some prayers for our little kitty man Chaz. He is/was Cheryl's cat before she met me, but as all cats do, he's wormed his way into all of our hearts and it's heartbreaking to see him so weak and fragile. And it breaks my heart to see my wife so sad as well as my daughter. She is taking this hard. She keeps telling us that if Chaz dies we'll have to go out and get another yellow cat and name him Chaz. I guess that is her way of dealing with death eh?
So, the good with the bad. Winter has struck here full force. We woke up to about 3" of snow on the ground this morning. YUCK! We all know how much I love snow.
Talk with you all later....
Wendy
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
What is a Stay At Home Mom?
Remind me again would ya? Since March, I have been a full time SAHM and haven't done much staying home. Today was one of those days that I didn't stay home. It started with putting Katie on the bus, taking Gillian to school, a quick trip to Starbucks (thank you whoever gave me the giftcard for my birthday)and then up to church for a 2 hour Church and Society meeting! Then I rushed home to meet the bus, took Katie to McDonald's for lunch (long story short, I promised her a trip there last week only to get there to find a bus load of kids waiting to be waited on and us needing to leave to make story time). So, into McDonald's we head (again, thanks to my sister for the birthday money) and we had a nice lunch together! We headed over to the children's store that it looks like I might be helping out in short term and then over to Grandma's to drop Katie off for her date! They went to see the Bee movie together while I ran to the high school to pick up Gillian to take her for her 6 month dental check up and cleaning. Then, we rushed back (HAHAHA - rushing back in rush hour traffic) to meet up with Grandma and Katie at ballet at 5PM. Sat there for an hour while she had ballet and talked with the youth minister about church stuff and then headed home. Got home and the wife was making dinner.....oh thank goodness for my wife! Had dinner and am now sitting down for the first time all day!
I love what I do! Of course if I would have been able to sew today, then life would have been perfect! But, the sewing machine is on the fritz and I have to make do without for now! Tomorrow will be another whirlwind day, so again I ask, who came up with the term SAHM? Because I don't know many that actually Stay Home! LOL!
Wendy
I love what I do! Of course if I would have been able to sew today, then life would have been perfect! But, the sewing machine is on the fritz and I have to make do without for now! Tomorrow will be another whirlwind day, so again I ask, who came up with the term SAHM? Because I don't know many that actually Stay Home! LOL!
Wendy
Saturday, November 10, 2007
THE Birthday party!
What can I say? Cheryl threw me a birthday party to end all birthday parties today! All in all, we had about 65 people cycle through our house during the 4 hour time frame she asked people to come. She went all out with food and decorations including a cake (I need to download the pics)with pictures of me as a small child/baby.
I have never felt so much love. My grandparents were here. You might remember that the year before last my Grandfather came very close to dying. My mother is in end stage lung disease and was just discharged from short term nursing home rehab. She was here today. My friend of 20 years, who is recovering from a major stroke, came today. My friend from 6th grade (yes, you read that right) was here today! Folks that were near and dear to me that could come, did. And it felt so good to be with everyone.
The past 2 years have been so hard both physically and emotionally on me. I felt today as though all that washed away, leaving a clean slate for the future to begin. I felt so loved today, so cared about, but most of all, I was felt HAPPY today in a way that I haven't in a long, long time.
Thank you Cheryl for all the effort and energy you put into making my 40th birthday one that I will never forget. Thank you for loving me so much and for coming into my life and sharing it with me. I look forward to 40 more birthdays walking by your side!
So, if you were here today, and are reading this, Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You made my 40th birthday so very special.
Wendy
I have never felt so much love. My grandparents were here. You might remember that the year before last my Grandfather came very close to dying. My mother is in end stage lung disease and was just discharged from short term nursing home rehab. She was here today. My friend of 20 years, who is recovering from a major stroke, came today. My friend from 6th grade (yes, you read that right) was here today! Folks that were near and dear to me that could come, did. And it felt so good to be with everyone.
The past 2 years have been so hard both physically and emotionally on me. I felt today as though all that washed away, leaving a clean slate for the future to begin. I felt so loved today, so cared about, but most of all, I was felt HAPPY today in a way that I haven't in a long, long time.
Thank you Cheryl for all the effort and energy you put into making my 40th birthday one that I will never forget. Thank you for loving me so much and for coming into my life and sharing it with me. I look forward to 40 more birthdays walking by your side!
So, if you were here today, and are reading this, Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You made my 40th birthday so very special.
Wendy
Friday, November 02, 2007
Sewing addiction?
So, my MIL's sewing machine was on the fritz yesterday and I just about went into withdrawl! I was in the homestretch of finishing my Grandpa's quilt top and I have 18 slings to put together for a friend of mind along with edging a few other ones that she needs! I had a panic attack for a minute there. I sent out an SOS to my Mom's group, just in case we couldn't get it working again, but thankfully it was just a dust build up that was causing the problem! So, quilt top is finished, 2 slings are done and 1/2 of another is bound. I have a lot of work ahead of me this weekend and I am looking forward to it. Just making something as simple as a sling is giving me more practice and skills that I need in making clothes.
Then I am going to get at my new fabric and start Katie's new skirt! I already got an offer of $50 for the Halloween one, but unfortunately that one isn't for sale and besides, it's not really something that I would sell. There are lots of mistakes that the untrained eye can't see. Right now, I am just practicing! Someday I would love to be able to make eye catching and beautiful clothes to sell!
And if you could all remember my cousin Shari in your prayers? Her father died unexpectedly this week and well, if you've ever lost a parent, then you know what she is going through. You are in my prayers Shari!
Wendy
Then I am going to get at my new fabric and start Katie's new skirt! I already got an offer of $50 for the Halloween one, but unfortunately that one isn't for sale and besides, it's not really something that I would sell. There are lots of mistakes that the untrained eye can't see. Right now, I am just practicing! Someday I would love to be able to make eye catching and beautiful clothes to sell!
And if you could all remember my cousin Shari in your prayers? Her father died unexpectedly this week and well, if you've ever lost a parent, then you know what she is going through. You are in my prayers Shari!
Wendy
Monday, October 29, 2007
Fall Harvest!
Well, blogger is being stubborn and only letting me upload these 2 pictures today! And I have a great one of Katie scooping out the yucky guts of a pumpkin too! Oh, well, it will have to wait for another day! I love fall and everything that comes with it! The apple picking, pumpkin pickind and carving. Today we will trick or treat with our Moms group and Wednesday, Katie and her Mama will go out trick or treating in the neighborhood while I stay home with my broken foot and watch a scary movie with Gillian! Fall is a very profound time for me, and I have started several posts about it, but couldn't quite put into words the feelings that I have about it. So, let me leave you with these happy pictures of my family! I deliberately left out the one of me in the wagon with my big cast/boot on! LOL!
The finished outfit!
Here is the finished product! I love how the skirt turned out with the shirt and tights to pull it all together! I will be starting my next project as soon as I finish the lap quilt that I am making for my grandfather!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Irrational fears
I wish I could kick this irrational fear thing that I have. And stop crying over every little thing. Everytime one of my kids gets sick, I worry about them being really sick even if they just have a cold, or them passing it on to the rest of the house. Gillian woke up sick this morning. She seems to be getting sick a lot. Add that to my 4 year old who always seems to need to poop right when the bus comes but doesn't want to miss the bus, I am getting pretty sick and tired of this....stuff!
But, the real issue is my fears. They are so out of control. Kind of like my life in a way. My house is a mess. I have no energy to clean, cook or basically do anything. I feel like a grouch all the time and then when something goes wrong, well, I just get grouchier. I feel like a bad mother. I know that I am doing the best that I can, but I just can't shake the feeling that I stink at being a mother. Like it's somehow my fault they got sick. Like it's my fault that Gillian has Ulcerative Colitis, like every thing is just my fault.
I forgot about my counseling appt. yesterday and feel terrible. I don't even want to go back to that counselor now. Maybe I just feel as though there is no one out there that can help?
I am just throwing stuff around this disjointed blog today. While I feel as though I need some down time, I feel guilty about that too. Maybe motherhood is one big guilt trip?
But, the real issue is my fears. They are so out of control. Kind of like my life in a way. My house is a mess. I have no energy to clean, cook or basically do anything. I feel like a grouch all the time and then when something goes wrong, well, I just get grouchier. I feel like a bad mother. I know that I am doing the best that I can, but I just can't shake the feeling that I stink at being a mother. Like it's somehow my fault they got sick. Like it's my fault that Gillian has Ulcerative Colitis, like every thing is just my fault.
I forgot about my counseling appt. yesterday and feel terrible. I don't even want to go back to that counselor now. Maybe I just feel as though there is no one out there that can help?
I am just throwing stuff around this disjointed blog today. While I feel as though I need some down time, I feel guilty about that too. Maybe motherhood is one big guilt trip?
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Sewing again
I am in love with fabric. There, I said it. I am in love with kids clothes, but moreoever, I am in love with fabric. Putting things together to make beautful clothes, quilts, you name it! I am in the process of finishing the lap quilt that I am making for my Grandpa (who looks amazing by the way!) and then onto my next project! I broke down and ordered some Baby Nay fabric off a website that I can't wait to get my hands on and start a twirly skirt for Katie. It's a patchwork fabric made out of mostly red fabric that I am going to make her for Christmas/Valentine's Day. I am hoping that I will have enough fabric to take one or two of the patches and applique them on the front of a plain white shirt. I can't wait to take my idea's out of my head and put them on the sewing machine! I can already see the finished skirt in my mind! This is so much better than actually buying the clothes themselves...well almost. It's a lot cheaper, that's for sure!
Today we went pumpkin picking today....well, let's say the girls and Cheryl did. I sat in the wheelbarrow while they picked pumpkins! I have to DL the pics, but I got some cute ones. It was so warm here today, in the 80's which is unheard of at this time of the year. Let's hope the warm weather holds out because Katie is going to be a mermaid this year and well, the costume just doesn't look the same with a turtle neck and long johns under it! LOL
More pics soon, I promise!
Today we went pumpkin picking today....well, let's say the girls and Cheryl did. I sat in the wheelbarrow while they picked pumpkins! I have to DL the pics, but I got some cute ones. It was so warm here today, in the 80's which is unheard of at this time of the year. Let's hope the warm weather holds out because Katie is going to be a mermaid this year and well, the costume just doesn't look the same with a turtle neck and long johns under it! LOL
More pics soon, I promise!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Altogether a crappy week
Well, the party was a bust and I feel so sad about that. But the other exciting news is that I broke my foot and sprained the ankle that I had reconstructed 7 years ago. Badly. I am so vain that I don't use my cane and well, yesterday I was just walking with my friend and out kids and down I went. I am in pain, but I am pissed more than anything. OK. The cane comes back out. I learned my lesson. Now,I have a boot cast for 4 weeks. No weight on the foot for 2 weeks and then I can be weight bearing with the boot cast for 2 weeks.
I am depressed.
Wendy
I am depressed.
Wendy
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Matilda Jane Clothing Internet Party!
You are cordially invited to a
Virtual Matilda Jane Trunk Show...
"I feel pretty, oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight..."
October 5th -15th
It's all about Discovery!
Matilda Jane Clothing is pleased as peaches to offer their couture for the pint sized set in the comfort of your own home!
Please check out Matilda Jane's Fall line by clicking on the link below:
*** Fall 2007 Catalog ***
Found somthing you just can't live without?
Please contact my Trunk Keeper, Sarah Woodworth, at 317.577.2846 or mjctrunks1@yahoo.com!
She'll take care of you in lightening fast time!
If you'll provide her with your child's age, height, and weight, she'll be able to tell you exactly what size to order! Also, if you email her, please provide a phone number so she can call you back to finalize your order.
Sophisticated. Colorful. A wee bit cheeky. And mom-approved! Discover a new form of expression with sizing from 6m-12y, with a selection for you. Inspire her to seek out independence, with endless compliments guaranteed!
I hope you enjoy your home shopping experience!! Thank you so much!
~Wendy~
Virtual Matilda Jane Trunk Show...
"I feel pretty, oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight..."
October 5th -15th
It's all about Discovery!
Matilda Jane Clothing is pleased as peaches to offer their couture for the pint sized set in the comfort of your own home!
Please check out Matilda Jane's Fall line by clicking on the link below:
*** Fall 2007 Catalog ***
Found somthing you just can't live without?
Please contact my Trunk Keeper, Sarah Woodworth, at 317.577.2846 or mjctrunks1@yahoo.com!
She'll take care of you in lightening fast time!
If you'll provide her with your child's age, height, and weight, she'll be able to tell you exactly what size to order! Also, if you email her, please provide a phone number so she can call you back to finalize your order.
Sophisticated. Colorful. A wee bit cheeky. And mom-approved! Discover a new form of expression with sizing from 6m-12y, with a selection for you. Inspire her to seek out independence, with endless compliments guaranteed!
I hope you enjoy your home shopping experience!! Thank you so much!
~Wendy~
FYI - Matida Jane Clothing Internet Party
Due to all of the "excitement" and interest that people had about the Matilda Jane Clothing line, I am going to be hosting an internet party! It will start tomorrow 10/5 and run through 10/15. I am trying my best to get the "e-vite" up and running but having trouble! Please e-mail me at wendy6gill@aol.com so that I can personally send you an e-vite! I promise you won't be disappointed!
I am excited that I can bring this exciting and wonderful clothing line to you all. It is truly amazing, the outfits they have come up with. I am so excited to have the pleasure of working with such talented people.
So, look for the e-vite tomorrow and order away! Thank you all for your wonderful support!
Wendy
I am excited that I can bring this exciting and wonderful clothing line to you all. It is truly amazing, the outfits they have come up with. I am so excited to have the pleasure of working with such talented people.
So, look for the e-vite tomorrow and order away! Thank you all for your wonderful support!
Wendy
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Correction
In a previous e-mail I made note that I was becoming a Rep for Matilda Jane when in fact I will just be Hostessing a show for them during the time period February 7-10, 2008. I just needed to clarify that little factoid. Again, if you are interested in their Spring line (which I am assuming that I will be selling) please let me know and I will be happy to assist you in ordering. Until then, if you want to check out their cool and funky clothes, please visit Matilda Jane Clothing!
The Stillness
of the house is wonderful! It's not very often that I am here alone, but both kids just got on the their busses and it's SO QUIET. See I had to yell already! But, the dishwasher beckons to be unloaded, there are several loads of laundry to be done and the quilt that I have been working on is calling my name. Pretty soon there will be the hum of the washer and dryer, the sewing maching will be whirring and all will be well in the world again!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Quiliting....
Well, I couldn't figure out what I wanted to make for Katie next, so I decided to start a easy lap quilt in greens, yellows and blues. I am almost done putting the blocks together and ready to piece it. I love how it looks already and I am so amazed at myself! I am actually reading the directions and understanding them! I will show a picture of the completed project as it's really hard to show you all the in between pics with fabric all over the table. I just love sewing. Can't wait to start my next project already!
Also, did you know that with Boden/Mini Boden you can actually earn money to shop with? If you refer someone to them (for their mailing list) they will give you $5 per person up to $20 a month. I just saved $75 and was able to get Katie a nice warm coat and a few other things. And didn't pay a dime of my own money! Now, I will be saving up money for when their spring line comes out! And if you check on e-bay, their resale value is out of this world! And the quality is outstanding. I haven't personally had any trouble with customer service, but a few people I know have so you have to stay on top of your returns and credits. Overall, I have had really good experiences with this company.
You also might want to check out Hanna Andersson since they just started selling their Christmas stuff. Every year I dream about getting us all matching sweaters to have Christmas Pictures taken for cards, but unless the magic money fairy drops by, that isn't happening! Also, I know that Cheryl and Gillian wouldn't wear the sweaters again, so why waste money on something that isn't going to be worn? LOL! Also, !Naartjie just put up their winter line and all of their fall 1 is on sale. So many cute things. I was gifted a cute outfit from Fall 1 and it is cute. You can see it on Katie on her first day getting on the bus! Just thought that I would help you all spend some money! LOL! I have been able to sell some things on e-bay to finance getting fabric and I can't believe how inexpensive it really is to sew. I find myself looking at skirts or outfits and thinking to myself, "Hey, I can do that for much less"!
The sewing is keeping me busy along with trying to get my mother settled. After many days and lots of work, she decided against going on medicaid and going into Assisted Living. I am just praying that the social worker can get the things set up to keep her safe and well at home.
Speaking of praying. I have started my day off and end it each night praying. It really helps me to remember that I am not in this alone!
Also, did you know that with Boden/Mini Boden you can actually earn money to shop with? If you refer someone to them (for their mailing list) they will give you $5 per person up to $20 a month. I just saved $75 and was able to get Katie a nice warm coat and a few other things. And didn't pay a dime of my own money! Now, I will be saving up money for when their spring line comes out! And if you check on e-bay, their resale value is out of this world! And the quality is outstanding. I haven't personally had any trouble with customer service, but a few people I know have so you have to stay on top of your returns and credits. Overall, I have had really good experiences with this company.
You also might want to check out Hanna Andersson since they just started selling their Christmas stuff. Every year I dream about getting us all matching sweaters to have Christmas Pictures taken for cards, but unless the magic money fairy drops by, that isn't happening! Also, I know that Cheryl and Gillian wouldn't wear the sweaters again, so why waste money on something that isn't going to be worn? LOL! Also, !Naartjie just put up their winter line and all of their fall 1 is on sale. So many cute things. I was gifted a cute outfit from Fall 1 and it is cute. You can see it on Katie on her first day getting on the bus! Just thought that I would help you all spend some money! LOL! I have been able to sell some things on e-bay to finance getting fabric and I can't believe how inexpensive it really is to sew. I find myself looking at skirts or outfits and thinking to myself, "Hey, I can do that for much less"!
The sewing is keeping me busy along with trying to get my mother settled. After many days and lots of work, she decided against going on medicaid and going into Assisted Living. I am just praying that the social worker can get the things set up to keep her safe and well at home.
Speaking of praying. I have started my day off and end it each night praying. It really helps me to remember that I am not in this alone!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Before....
Here is the material I picked out to make Katie's skirt. It's going to be 3 tiers and then I am going to take the black w/orange polka dot fabric (middle tier) and make a ruffle out of that for the bottom. I think it's going to look cute. I should be able to find a cute black Old Navy Tee to put with it (In fact I might have one floating around somewhere with an orange pumpkin on it). If not, I will see if they have one at Old Navy. Worse comes to worse I can put a plain white shirt with it. I don't really want to go out and buy the shirt at Old Navy just in case I don't get the skirt done right! Anyway, this is the material and I start on Monday hopefully. MIL's sewing machine is coming tomorrow and she is going to show me how to thread it and then give me lots of remnants to practice making seams on. Who knows, maybe it will turn out to be a quilt someday? So, try to imagine these fabrics in 3 tiers as a skirt!
Friday, September 14, 2007
Katie's first day riding the bus
Here's my cool tote since we can't have backpacks on the bus!
Waiting (im)patiently for the bus!
Look how big my bus is and how small I am....but I love it!
BIG step up!
I don't know that I can even put into words the feelings going through me that day. And it's been 4 days since. She's not even off to Kindergarten yet, and already, my baby is going to school on the bus. I love her school, she's been there (with me!) since she was a year old, but this is a big step. And I guess we are lucky because next year when she is gone all day to school, I will already have cried on the first day, seeing her get on that bus.
She loves school. I will be going in on Friday's to be a room helper (well, every other Friday since they only have school every other Friday) and I am joining the PTO. I can't even say that I haven't had anything to do while she's been gone since Cheryl stayed home the first day, I had a church meeting the second day, did housework the third day and went fabric shopping with MIL today. More pics of the fabric we chose for the skirt I am going to make Katie!
So, enjoy these cute pics of my baby, on her first bus ride to school!
Waiting (im)patiently for the bus!
Look how big my bus is and how small I am....but I love it!
BIG step up!
I don't know that I can even put into words the feelings going through me that day. And it's been 4 days since. She's not even off to Kindergarten yet, and already, my baby is going to school on the bus. I love her school, she's been there (with me!) since she was a year old, but this is a big step. And I guess we are lucky because next year when she is gone all day to school, I will already have cried on the first day, seeing her get on that bus.
She loves school. I will be going in on Friday's to be a room helper (well, every other Friday since they only have school every other Friday) and I am joining the PTO. I can't even say that I haven't had anything to do while she's been gone since Cheryl stayed home the first day, I had a church meeting the second day, did housework the third day and went fabric shopping with MIL today. More pics of the fabric we chose for the skirt I am going to make Katie!
So, enjoy these cute pics of my baby, on her first bus ride to school!
Open blog
I have decided with much thought, that I am not going to make this a closed blog. Why let one person take what you have written and throw it in your face and then make everyone else have to jump through hoops just to read. So, I am making this public, but I will mostly be talking about my learning to sew. At some time in the future, I might start another blog about feelings and stuff, especially as my mother nears the end of her life. She has end stage lung disease and we are not sure how much longer she has to live. I have lots to catch you all up with now that the drama is gone. Some pics to share of Katie getting on the bus for the first time, etc.
So, let's just get one with things shall we? It's a beautiful fall day here in Upstate NY! The sun is shining, the leaves are changing and life is just great. I refuse to let anyone ruin my good mood and I pray for those whose lives are in such disarray that they must use someone else to take it out on.
So, let's play! Have fun! For this is the day that the Lord Hath Made!
Wendy
So, let's just get one with things shall we? It's a beautiful fall day here in Upstate NY! The sun is shining, the leaves are changing and life is just great. I refuse to let anyone ruin my good mood and I pray for those whose lives are in such disarray that they must use someone else to take it out on.
So, let's play! Have fun! For this is the day that the Lord Hath Made!
Wendy
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Permissions needed
Sadly I have to go this way for now. Instead of throwing away all the memories I have created, I have been encouraged to go permissions only. If you want an invite, let me know and I will send you one.
Wendy
Wendy
Over and OUT
I am putting this blog to rest. The words that have been spoken here, have been thrown in my face in a very painful way. I am done. Done with everything. I appreciate those of you who have supported me throught the years and have read what I had to say. One last piece of advice before I depart, every single word you write on a blog will be analyized and thrown back in your face by people you think are your friends. I am done with this blog and done with everything.
Over and OUT!
Over and OUT!
Sunday, September 09, 2007
OK, that was a flop
So, no one wants to send me their creations. Didn't think it would work anyway. I have really gotten the feeling that the whole sewing world is cut throat and no one wants to give up their secrets. Well, then let's just move on to unruly 15 year olds shall we?
Can someone please tell me how the hell I am going to get through the next 3 years without going stark raving mad? Tonight Gillian brings home R rated movies (not allowed in this house) and then looks at me as though I have 3 heads when I tell her they are not allowed in the house. Why not? Because they aren't apprpriate I say. Well, I have already seen them. I don't really care. They are not to come into this house.
What are your expectations for your teens? Do they watch R rated movies in your house? Do you ban them from them knowing they are just going to watch them somewhere else? Do you just put your foot down and say no? I am seriously at a loss here.
Every single rule that we put down gets pushed and I am so damn tired of hearing her mouth and attitude. I am tired of being treated like a piece of shit, like I am worthless than dirt. And it just keeps going and going.
I really don't know how I am going to get through these next few years. And I am dead serious.
Can someone please tell me how the hell I am going to get through the next 3 years without going stark raving mad? Tonight Gillian brings home R rated movies (not allowed in this house) and then looks at me as though I have 3 heads when I tell her they are not allowed in the house. Why not? Because they aren't apprpriate I say. Well, I have already seen them. I don't really care. They are not to come into this house.
What are your expectations for your teens? Do they watch R rated movies in your house? Do you ban them from them knowing they are just going to watch them somewhere else? Do you just put your foot down and say no? I am seriously at a loss here.
Every single rule that we put down gets pushed and I am so damn tired of hearing her mouth and attitude. I am tired of being treated like a piece of shit, like I am worthless than dirt. And it just keeps going and going.
I really don't know how I am going to get through these next few years. And I am dead serious.
Friday, September 07, 2007
Someone send me your creations please
Ok, I am asking for any of you who read my blog to send me some of your wonderful creations to get my creative juices flowing. I want to see how the seams look, I want to see how you put your fabrics together, I want to see where your creative juices lie! So, if you are interested in sending me something you have created, I will take wonderful care of it, and I will even send it back if you want it back. When you send it, please talk to me about your creation. What was your inspiration, where did the fabric come from, why did you pick that fabric. I am serious about this sewing thing and I think being able to handle the different things that are made will go a long way to helping me do this. Creations need to be fabric made and not breakable. If you want to send something for my daughter to model, she is a size 6 or so. I will send you measurements if you are interested in doing this.
I will happily showcase your creation on my blog and you will get lots of notority for it! I have a wonderful model who is very cute who will also help get your idea's out there.
Thanks for helping out someone new. I promise you won't be disappointed!
Wendy
Don't let me down now! And remember, if you want your creation back, please let me know, so I can send it back.
I will happily showcase your creation on my blog and you will get lots of notority for it! I have a wonderful model who is very cute who will also help get your idea's out there.
Thanks for helping out someone new. I promise you won't be disappointed!
Wendy
Don't let me down now! And remember, if you want your creation back, please let me know, so I can send it back.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Sew Anxious
To get going on sewing! I have been obsessed with looking at web sites of people that are making One Of A Kind (OOAK) outfits an the things that I am finding are just gorgeous. I want to make them. I need to start learning how to sew. I think I have it figured out how to put a ruffle on the hem of pants and have a pair of plain jean overalls that I am going to buy some fabric for and make a ruffle on the hems (halloween style)and then take some of the fabric and cut out pieces to applique onto the overalls themselves. I then want to find a plain shirt (I was going to sew my own, but it might be too much to start) and maybe do an applique or 2 onto the shirt.
Anyway, I am "sew" into looking at fabric, coming up with ideas and just plain being creative. I still want to quilt and hope to continue doing that too. There is just one little thing standing in the way and that is money. I need to do something to bring in money. I thought about becoming a rep for a couple of different boutique children's companies, but I just don't think I can work that much. But I have learned so much about children's clothes and can't believe the wealth of it out there. From the wacky Oilily to the staid Jack and Jill, it's just amazing. Every site I go to, I just want to buy, buy, buy!
What do you all think? What do you think about selling children's clothes in general? I am no longer doing e-bay, although I might start up again when I begin to sell the outfits that I make and when I resell the mounds of clothes that I have collected for Katie. But it was just too disappointing and expensive.
Lots of other stuff going on in my life that I should get on here and talk about. We have services coming in to help with Gillian because she is getting out of control again. I went to a discharge planning meeting for my mother who is in short term pulmanary rehab. She will be going into assissted living which my sister and I are trying to sort out, all while trying to gtieve her impending death.
Lots on my plate. Lots of loss that I am really struggling to deal with.
Anyway, I am "sew" into looking at fabric, coming up with ideas and just plain being creative. I still want to quilt and hope to continue doing that too. There is just one little thing standing in the way and that is money. I need to do something to bring in money. I thought about becoming a rep for a couple of different boutique children's companies, but I just don't think I can work that much. But I have learned so much about children's clothes and can't believe the wealth of it out there. From the wacky Oilily to the staid Jack and Jill, it's just amazing. Every site I go to, I just want to buy, buy, buy!
What do you all think? What do you think about selling children's clothes in general? I am no longer doing e-bay, although I might start up again when I begin to sell the outfits that I make and when I resell the mounds of clothes that I have collected for Katie. But it was just too disappointing and expensive.
Lots of other stuff going on in my life that I should get on here and talk about. We have services coming in to help with Gillian because she is getting out of control again. I went to a discharge planning meeting for my mother who is in short term pulmanary rehab. She will be going into assissted living which my sister and I are trying to sort out, all while trying to gtieve her impending death.
Lots on my plate. Lots of loss that I am really struggling to deal with.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Spitting Mad
Why do you ask? E-bay sends me this nice little e-mail stating that they aren't charging for listing fee's from X date to X date. This is after I give ALL of my e-bay stuff away to be consigned. Yep, I decided that I wasn't going to e-bay anymore since it was taking up so much of my time and energy, not to mention the fact that the buyer really has all of the protection and the seller has very little. And I get that there are bad sellers out there, in fact, I have found a few during my time of buying on e-bay. But, now if a buyer doesn't like the color, they can basically return their merchandise and the seller has to refund. It's getting ugly over there I tell ya.
Well, to make matters worse, I found a box of really nice stuff that I had tucked away to sell at a later date. Hmmm, I think to myself, I guess I get to take advantage of that great offer and if I don't buy any of the extra's, then I can list for free right? WRONG! The small print, and there is always small print isn't there, states that you don't have to pay a listing fee IF you PAY for a GALLERY PHOTO which let me remind you is 5 cents LESS than the LISTING FEE! ARGH! I dislike e-bay right now. So, off this box goes to my consignor. And it's nice stuff too. Too bad for e-bay right?
I am however going to learn to sew. I am very excited about this and will be previewing all of the outfits that I make right here for you all to ooh and ahh over. The first one will be a Halloween outfit for Katie to wear. I am going to look for fabric tomorrow. I have been greedily going over sites of other women who are making clothes that are just so cool and wonderfully fresh. I even (shh) had some shirts made to match some pants that I had no matches for. I also had some bows made for some of our new Boden shirts. Wish me luck on the sewing front, since all of the other things that I have tried to do have backfired and I am still not making any money.
I won't even get started on SSD......
Well, to make matters worse, I found a box of really nice stuff that I had tucked away to sell at a later date. Hmmm, I think to myself, I guess I get to take advantage of that great offer and if I don't buy any of the extra's, then I can list for free right? WRONG! The small print, and there is always small print isn't there, states that you don't have to pay a listing fee IF you PAY for a GALLERY PHOTO which let me remind you is 5 cents LESS than the LISTING FEE! ARGH! I dislike e-bay right now. So, off this box goes to my consignor. And it's nice stuff too. Too bad for e-bay right?
I am however going to learn to sew. I am very excited about this and will be previewing all of the outfits that I make right here for you all to ooh and ahh over. The first one will be a Halloween outfit for Katie to wear. I am going to look for fabric tomorrow. I have been greedily going over sites of other women who are making clothes that are just so cool and wonderfully fresh. I even (shh) had some shirts made to match some pants that I had no matches for. I also had some bows made for some of our new Boden shirts. Wish me luck on the sewing front, since all of the other things that I have tried to do have backfired and I am still not making any money.
I won't even get started on SSD......
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